On top of the world

Bittersweet Symphony

*TRIGGER WARNING*: some violence

*time skip to after Sectionals

Though it was difficult finishing just off of the podium and not being able to move onto Nationals once again, I was anxious to get home to see how bad the situation was at home. All I knew was that there was a lot of conflict between Yuri and my parents, but he especially butted heads with Dad. I also missed my family and my few friends back at home. 

Because of how well I was doing in online school, my parents allowed me to continue with it, and Mom also had me help her with chores around the house. Whenever I cleaned around the house or did laundry, I'd put on a Queen or David Bowie playlist full of songs Kévin recommended to me as well as ones I had discovered myself. I'd also take Bessie ice skating on some weekends, and I got to watch Anna ballroom dance one Saturday as well as learn a few new moves from her.

Before leaving for Sectionals, I didn't get to say a proper goodbye to anyone apart from Katya. I was hoping to make it to Nationals again, but I wasn't very confident going in due in large part to my ankle. Though it had mostly healed, I couldn't get my nerves under control. Plus the competition was tough. I put out a flawless short program but screwed up the free program, executing one too many double toe loops and breaking the Zayak rule.

The night I arrived home in Boston after Sectionals and settled in, Javi FaceTimed me to offer his condolences. "It's okay, Lyuba," he said as I smiled deprecatingly back at him. "There's always next year. And now you know to never go behind Mr. Brian's back! Got that?"

"Sí señor Javi." I gave him a mock salute. 

The next day, I woke up to a distressing sight: four year old Masha with an ugly gash on her cheek. The wound had been closed rather haphazardly by a couple of staples, but the scar would remain forever. 

"Yuri did that," Mom said coldly. "It happened a few days before you had to compete, and I didn't want to throw off your focus."

Mom also told me that Yuri and Dad had come to blows several times, mostly verbally but on occasion physically as well. One time, it had gotten so bad that Mom had to call the police. With all of this tension in the house, the inevitable arguments between my parents grew more frequent.

"Of course, we don't expect you coming back here will solve everything that has festered in this house," Mom assured me. "You're only 15 after all. We just hope you can keep Masha and Yuri in line while we are at work."

That alone would still prove to be difficult. I would hop on an early morning bus to go to the rink to train while the kids were at school. After lunch, I'd get a ride back home and watch recorded lectures. Katya would also send me screenshots of her notes to help me out. Dad would bring Masha home from her day school during his lunch break, and I would prepare her lunch. Yuri would come home around 2:30 while I was taking notes and demand a snack, which I told him he was more than capable of making himself. 

I periodically made sure Masha didn't try to enter Yuri's room, and I had her read books and watch Netflix in a room separate from my study. Not one to be easily deterred, Masha would knock on my locked door every 20 minutes and ask to play a game with me. I started to empathize with Yuri, but fortunately for both Masha and me, she never pushed me to my breaking point.

With the help of Katya and a lot of extra credit, I managed to keep my grades afloat. At the rink, however, it was difficult staying motivated without my Cricket friends and Brian and the team. I took it easy, wanting to get my ankle back to tip-top shape before I tried anything daring in practice again. I continued to practice run-throughs of my program, but with no jumps, at least until my ankle felt 100% better. That's what I told myself. 

But it got me wondering: Would I be using these programs again for next season? Why am I still doing this? What's the point? It's not like I'm going to Nationals.

Or so I thought.

After my family and I got back from Christmas vacation, I received news from Brian via FaceTime that one of the ladies set to compete at Nationals had injured herself too badly to recover in time.

"Which means that, with all due condolences to the poor girl, you'll be going to Nationals after all!" Brian informed me with a broad grin.

I smiled back, but inside, I was freaking out. I had let myself get too loose in my latest practices, and I hardly had any more will to make my body rotate three times in the air. How the heck am I going to get back in shape? I thought, too zoned out to realize that I had voiced my thoughts out loud.

"Lyuba, we talked about this. You gotta have more confidence in yourself! That's half the battle. And we all already know how hard you work when you have a tangible goal. So the deadline's a little tight this time around. Big deal! We can work with that."

It seemed to me that Brian was in such a fantastic mood because of the holidays, but also because Yuzuru and Javi placed first and second at the Grand Prix Final in December, with Yuzuru casually breaking some world records in the process. Then, I suddenly remembered it had been Yuzuru's birthday back in December too. I completely forgot it!

Brian saw my expression morph into horror. "What's up?"

"I completely forgot Yuzuru's birthday," I admitted with a sheepish smile.

"He won't mind," Brian assured me. "But now let's focus on you. When can you come back to train with us?"

"I have to ask my parents. I'll email you to let you know when."

"Alright Lyuba. We'll see each other soon!" 

I thought of what to say to Yuzuru. "I know it was almost a month ago, but happy birthday? No--just...happy late birthday? Argh!" 

Should I just...not message him?

What if he leaves me on read? Oh, how embarassing would that be?!

Finally, I drafted out a message:

Hi Yuzuru,

Happy birthday! I know it was nearly a month ago, but I just remembered. I hope you've been resting at least a little bit so you can be ready for next season. I miss you and hope you are well.

Ehh...I'm scrapping the last sentence. If everything goes according to plan, I'll be seeing him soon anyway.

I sent the message and tossed the phone onto my bed, willing myself not to check it every five minutes.

Okkk hiiii

As y'all know I'm a professional procrastinator, even with non school things. 

With that being said, I am still working on this story, and I will finish it. 

However, there are some other pieces I will be working on in the meantime, just to keep my creative juices flowing. Most of those pieces will be Labyrinth related. I HIGHLY RECOMMEND WATCHING THE MOVIE LABYRINTH IF YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY. WHY? BECAUSE IT'S AWESOME.

Anyway, if you want to see my first Labyrinth fanfic (and if you aren't squeamish about s*x), you may find it under my AO3 account @mal_halsey :D