𝓜𝓲𝓼𝓽𝔂 𝓢𝓸𝓾𝓵𝓼

61 | how to convince a broken heart

AN: please don't hate me lol

Isabelle's point of view

The first feeling invading my chest even before I had opened my eyes was disappointment. I had been woken up by my atrocious alarm, and not by her.
But this feeling quickly flew away when my eyes fluttered open, landing on the girl laying on the other side of the bed, who was directly looking at me.

"Hey sweetheart." I mumbled, my body still feeling sleepy and slow.

She didn't reply, as if she was in deep thoughts. And when I tried to move closer to her as the night had pushed us way too far away, she rapidly jumped out of bed, giving me this massive feeling of disappointment again.

"What are you doing?" I questioned, reactively sitting on my knees, being now perfectly awake.
I hated how needy I sounded at that moment, but all I could focus on was the fact that she wouldn't even want to look at me in the eyes now that I was awake.

"I need to take a shower. You should go back to your room before everybody wakes up." She replied, hopelessly rifling through her suitcase while showing me her back.

I was so taken back by those harsh words that it took me some time to speak again.

"Aren't you going to at least say hi to your girlfriend?"

"...hi." Was the cold word that left her lips, her face never turning towards mine.

I must have made some really outraged sound, because she finally turned away, now observing the pain on my face.

After a millisecond of hesitation she rushed towards me, immediately sitting on my lap and burying her face on the crook of my neck, her arms tightly wrapped around me.

I didn't move, just astonished by this sudden coldness towards me. What had I done to deserve to be awaken like that?
I couldn't help but compare this pain I was feeling to the one I felt more and more often after each day passing by when I used to be with my ex.

When she backed away, her eyes briefly met mine.
I caught a glimpse of them, and all I could see was a mirror of what had invaded my body.
What happened while I was away yesterday to give her that look?

"I'm so sorry." she managed to say before trails of salty tears began to make their way onto her cheeks.

My fingers soon gripped her chin, lifting her head up, no matter how hard she was trying to avoid my gaze again.

"What's happening?"

No reply, just a trembling mess. But now I really needed an answer, I couldn't bear being in the unknown anymore.

"Amanda, I want you to tell me exactly what's on your mind. Right now." I strictly said, almost immediately regretting my words.
What if I made her think of her mother by acting like this? That would create the exact opposite reaction I was searching for.

But fortunately she put an end to my thoughts and spoke again, with a broken and low voice.

"I've changed thanks to you, and... I thought that with time and effort I'll be-... enough. But I realized I'll never be." She said, her eyes digging into mine through her curtain of tears.

"Wh- What bullshit are you saying now? Why would you ever think that, I won't allow you-"

"Can you tell me how many times I hurt you like I just did?" She interrupted me, making me frown at such stupid question.
"Do you remember how many times you cried because of me?"