Noah & Navid

Chapter 45- Navid Speaks

-+^+-   Written from Navid's Perspective   -+^+-

It's that feeling of a growing void in my chest, the hollow part where guilt eats away at my heart. Many lies to many people. 

Noah doesn't even suspect it. I told him he wouldn't enjoy the dinner since everyone would be speaking in Farsi and all the food would be very traditional and nothing similar to the food he liked. 

I sent him off to spend time with his father. 

To my parents, I had said that Noah needed time with his father and had not seen him in awhile.

We were going to dinner with the Hamid family. They had lived in the US for many years now and I knew they would quickly figure out what Noah meant to me. I had never brought him there when I visited. Mrs. Hamid would have figured it out and immediately informed my mother. 

It would ruin everything.

It felt so strange to drop Noah off at his father's apartment and drive away. It never felt right to leave him somewhere. I walked him up to his father's door, saw him safely inside, and kissed him goodbye. It felt like when we were dating, back before I brought him to live with me. 

It seems like a lifetime ago, the days before he was mine.

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When I was younger, I accompanied my father to England where he was on special assignment with British researchers to share information on a project he was completing. 

It was a cultural exchange and I jumped at the chance to go with him. I was already a man so he allowed me free movement during the day and it was good practice for my English.

I joined a footballer league at the University where he was working. I was mostly quiet since I didn't speak much of their language and my accent was heavy. 

I met a guy named Aaron who was 21 and working on a degree in engineering. He was on the team and was one of the few guys who went out of his way to include me. 

The guys didn't have much experience with outsiders, but I worked hard to prove myself on the field. I quickly earned their respect, but not their friendship.

The first few days I played and then left directly to go back to the campus hotel room I was sharing with my father. I didn't go to the locker room to shower or out with the other guys. It was the end of winter and bitterly cold out. 

I was out of place and felt immediately homesick. I spent most of the day in front of the TV or exploring the open internet. 

But on the fourth day of practice, Aaron insisted I go with them and then have lunch with him. I felt my body electrify when he put his hand on my shoulder, it awakened something inside me.

At first I told him no. I told him my father was expecting me. I made various excuses, but he kept his hand on me as though I had no choice. I followed him.

We made it to the locker room. It was brand new as the university had recently invested in its sports facilities. This was the prize team of the small college town. Like back home, football was one thing everyone could get behind. It had lots of small areas, pods, with 8 lockers, two benches, and a shared shower for each.

Aaron and I went to his locker which was away from the other guys. I hadn't thought to bring clothes, but we were nearly equal physically and he assured me he had extra. I shed my kit and then heard him complain about a cut on his toe.