Noah & Navid

Chapter 59 - No Me Without You

"I'm not your client, Navi. You don't need to sell me. You bring me out when there's a gay client and I'll help seal the deal, and you put me away when it's a straight client and I might mess something up. What's the point of making all this money when we can't enjoy time together?" I felt my voice sound whiny and it bothered me.

He opened the door to our room and I pushed inside.

He'd put the yogurt cups in the trash, hiding the evidence of his failure.

"Noah, this is for you. It is all for you. I have to secure a future for you. I promise your father I will pay for your school through to the graduation. The world is so uncertain now! But I promise him I can provide good things for you. You do not understand. You are too simple to understand it," Navid sat on the bed and watched me pace around.

"I'm too simple? Are you kidding me? We have enough money. You make a ton! We have whatever we need. You have been working nonstop for months. You come home tired and spent. What am I missing?" I asked.

"Noah, you are child. You don't know the pressure. I protect you from it. I do all for you stay innocent from it. You can't understand the ugly things of being adult in this country! You don't know of the pressures to get us to secure future. You are being child." Navid was getting upset and it really rubbed me the wrong way.

"I'm a simple, ignorant child... and you bury yourself in work. I hope it's worth it. I hope you get your dream, Navi. I hope you finally get the project that lets you avoid me forever. I'm going to Erik's to sleep.  I don't feel like an idiot child when I'm over there. I don't want to be around you anymore," I said quietly and turned towards the door.

"Noah, don't walk out from me. Noah... sit with me, my love... I tell you truth. I don't mean to hurt feelings for you. I love you so much. I can explain? I owe you explanation. Please come to me," Navid asked as he patted the bed.

I stood by the door and thought for a minute. I was so upset and yet so torn. 

I needed him and he hadn't been there for me in a while. He was waiting for me and ready to open up. 

I wondered what he meant about explanation. I'd been on the outside of his thinking process for months now. I couldn't just walk out when he was ready to talk. 

"You don't even stop working when we're together in bed. You used to want me. Now you just want to hurry up and get back to your emails. You're bored with me. You use work to avoid me and rush through things to fulfill your obligation. Well I don't need it! If you don't want me anymore than just tell me!" I felt my voice shaking as I tried to hold back my tears.

"My beautiful boy! How you can think this! There is no one I love more. No one I could ever want like I want you. I promise this is for you! You are all I care for, Noah. Nothing worth more! Please let me explain. Come and sit with me." He patted the bed again and looked at me with pleading eyes.

I lost my resolve and went to him. He pulled me down into his lap. His strong arms around me felt secure, warm. It was a feeling I'd missed in the last few weeks.

"Your country... So much is changing, Noah! New powers, new president. Noah, I grow up with these things. I know how the things change so quickly. Many countries are do this right now. Is world trend. Iran does it too. They need jobs for their people. I can not fault them for this. In Iran a boy like you can't even work or study. There is fear of outsiders. The immigrants are blamed for things and put to low work. We do the same to Afghani," Navid started.

"That's not fair. You worked hard to get where you are. You work like crazy to make things happen for us," I protested.

"Fair is not a concept the world rely on. So... I am save as much money as I can. I put it aside so if I get asked to leave from this country then you will have enough for finish school. I have put aside enough for three years of your tuition, but you will also need books and clothing and food. I will provide for you... I must. I cannot rest if you are worry for things..." Navid trailed off.