Indonesia's pov
I was walking so fast, while my tears were running down from my face. No, this is not true. It's a terrible joke, he would never, like ever kill someone, especially a woman. A pregnant woman.
"Indonesia" he shouted.
His voice were all over the mint. I could hear my name, my fake name actually every second.
I felt bad, but i didn't want to talk to him. I couldn't. What i saw, is clearly far away from what i can handle as a human.
"Indonesia please wait" Again and again.
Oh how i wish to hear my real name from his lips. I would give everything.
His footsteps were heavy and he was getting closer and closer step by step.
I got the chance to go inside the storeroom. I locked the door. And a few seconds he was outside of it.
"Indonesia please open the door, i need to talk to you." he said in a low tone.
"I want to be alone, please just leave me alone." i said to him. My voice was so numb, i could barely talk.
"What you saw, it isn't what you are thinking i swear, i can explain everything, just let me explain, i'm begging you Indonesia please" he said to me for one more time.
"Don't walk like this Denver, they will see you just go upstairs and do- what you were going to do, just- just go" I wasn't thinking straight. I wasn't even sure what i was saying. It didn't make sense. I just wanted to be alone. And think.
"I would never touch a woman. You know that. You must be the only person who knows that. Yes, you can call me a violent person, i do loose my tember, but i would never hurt an innocent person. Never. Please believe me." he said and his voice cracked in the end.
When he understood that i won't speak, he let out a sigh.
"I'm sorry , fuck. I didn't want you to see something like this. You don't desrve it."
I just kneeled down, my back was against the door. His presence was sending severs down my spine. My heart was aching.
"When you are ready to talk, you know where to find me. But please find me Indonesia, just come to me please." he said and left. I heard him leaving, and part of me wanted to go out and make him stay.
Come and find me, come to me please. That was the phrase that i kept on repeating on my mind.
Did he come to find me when we lost Paulo? Did he come to me? No he didn't.
I put my hands on my head and just for a few seconds, i enjoyed the silence.
I was in dilemma.
On the one hand, i felt that he want me to do things for him that he didn't do for me. He wants me to believe him, to be near him, to advise him, to protect him, to love him and i can do it and i want to do it. But where was him when i needed him the most?. On the other hand, i shouldn't be thinking like this, it's not what a couple does. There isn't you and me. There is only together.
So what side i should choose?
As much as i want to be angry with him, i can't choose the first side though and I won't. I would regret it.
Because life is too short to wake up with regrets, especially in the life we have right now. So we have to love the people we love. Everything happens for a reason. I truly believe that. This is just an obsticle to test our love for eachother. If i have the chance to start with him all over and for our son mostly, I'll take it.
No one said life would be easy, it is just in our hands to make it worthy.
7 months ago
I was just sitting in our balcony. It was 3am but i couldn't sleep. I was staring the crystal sky full of stars.
It is such a beautiful night.
Today was the first day in our house as a family of three. My baby boy was born three days ago and i couldn't be happier. He is such a sleepy and calm baby, i'm so lucky.
There is a new chapter in my life and i truly love it. I wouldn't change it for anything .
I took a glimpse inside and saw my two boys sleeping peacefully. I smiled to myself. How could i be so lucky.
I could stare at them all the time, if that was possible.
I was sitting for other fifteen minutes or so outside, when i felt a hand on my arm.
I got scared at first but i knew that it was him.
"I'm sorry i didn't mean to scare you" he said laughing and took a seat next to me.
"It's fine, i was just in my own world"
"Why you're not sleeping what is going on?" he asked me.
"Nothing i was just thinking"
"Why? Is something bothering you?"
"No, nothing, the opposite actually, i feel so calm, so happy, so thankful" i said to him and put his hands on mine.
"It's crazy huh? You and me? Parents?" he said in disbelief and i smiled.
"I still can't believe that we create a little human and he is sleeping in our room right now" he said and i nodded at him. He is right.
"But it's what we wanted right?" i asked him.
"It's more than what we wanted" he said and he kissed me on the lips. God i love him so much.
"Do you remember our vows?" he asked me and i turned my head to look at him.
"Of course i do" i said to him and smiled
"Love is patient, love is kind, love is not envious or boastful or rude, or arrogant. Endures all things. Love never ends." he was looking at me while he said the last sentence of our vows.
"So do you love me?" i asked him playfully and smiled.
"Forever and always" he answered me and kissed for one more time.
Present time
That moment was everything to me. I was exaclty where i wanted to be. Home.
I wiped my tears and got up. I had made my choice. I have choosen my side.
I passed the hallway, went upstairs towards the room that i knew he was spending most of the time, when he wasn't looking after the hostages.
I knew that he was inside. So i didn't knock the door , i just got in and saw him putting a shirt on.
He looked at me with hope but also saddness in his eyes.
"Love takes no pleasure in other people's sins, but delights in the truth. It is always ready to excuse, to trust, to hope and to endure whatever comes. So i take the memories as they come, accepting them all, letting them guide me whenever i can. Sometimes it might be the most difficult walk anyone ever had to make. But i would cross this path over and over again just to reach you and love you. In every way, a walk to remember" i said to him and finished our vows.
He looked at me like i was an alien. He didn't expect to hear something like this, from me.
"I'm ready" i said to him.
"I came to you and i am ready to hear you"
He didn't say anything, he didn't have to though.
He just grabbed me and kissed me.
And that was everything.
