Angel Of Mine

13

I had been up for an hour and the doctors won't talk to me. Much less get close to me. I can't leave my bed and i hate seeing all the pity glances.

My main doctor came in ...but without blake. "Blake is much better. But he does not want to see you" i was blinking back tears. It had been quiet for a while until he asked "do you want me to leave?" I just nodded.

He closed the door on his way out and that's when the tears poured out. He didn't want to see me. He hates me. I hate me.

I turned to my side so noone could see me and i just cried harder.

~time skip~

They let us go home two days later but, ofcourse, blake didn't want to ride with me. He took the next care.

I couldn't even see him, noone would let me. And now i'm laying on the bed, pretending to be asleep so i'm not disturbed.

I still couldn't be on my leg but they took me out of the cast and stuck to bandages and a brace.

I hopped to the bathroom and turned the water on. As it warmed up i looked at myself in the mirror. I looked fucked up.

Bitch

Peice of shit

You push everyone away

Everyone was in danger

He was in danger

It's your fault

You did it

Pathetic

Weak

Stupid

Kill yourself

Noone will miss you

Just die already

I was crying against the sink. I didn't hate the voices anymore, they were botmal at this point. I was crying because they were right.

The doctors were concerned because they all saw my scars but let me slide since they were all older. But what's the harm in a few more, right? I deserve them.

I pulled out a razor blade from the drawers. I missed this. The pain. The escape. The justice.

I hated myself and i would punish myself with cuts. Then i would punish myself for the cuts with more.

I just let them happen. The amount grew. Five. Twelve. Twenty. Twenty-seven.

I moved on to my legs, my thighs to be more accurate. Many cuts were placed. But who cares right?

I rinsed the blade and the sink to cover my tracks. I got into the bath and cried again, realizing i had just broken my promise. I truly was an awful person.

I had washed myself up some and got out to wrap myself up (in more ways than one). I threw on some sweatpants and a sweater and went back to bed.

~time skip~

There was supposedly a trial that was going to be held for john. But since i couldn't speak blake was speaking on my behalf. I don't know why, i almost got him killed.

The worst lart was john was royalty to the humans so they would probably let him off with a warning.

---

I was able to talk the maids into take me to the lake that blake had taken me to. I was also able to talk them into leaving me there for a while.

I sat against a tree and curled up. The jeans i changed into clinging to my legs while my sweater still hung past my waist.

I noticed there was a new dock on the lake. Likely for fishing. I limped over to it and sat down next to some old rope.

I was just going through my memories of the past few weeks. When i was in the hospital i found out i could project my memories. I did so on the water and just thought.

All the shit that's happened over these few weeks massively outweighed the good. And it was all my fault.

I didn't stand up to jax, so i got hurt and then blake got hurt trying to avenge me.

I almost drowned because i was too afraid to open up.Blake hurt me because of the same reason.

I was too pathetic to stand up to john. And then he hurt blake.

No wonder blake hates me. I'm pathetic.

So i decided to end it all.

I tied the rope to a big rock that was on the dock. And then tied it to my waist.

I tossed the rock over and jumped in after it. I was drowning, though i couldn't swim anyway.

I roamed through my memories of my whole life, and i could've sworn i heard my parents' voices. And then it all went black.

A/N- mwa ha ha! Cliff hanger!

Will he die?
Won't he?

You'll half to find out 😈

I'm planning on writing a sequel to this but i don't know wether to leave it here or write a few more chapters. Comment to vote, i'll let you all decide.