Same Mistakes - Zayn Malik Fan Fic

Same Mistakes - Zayn Malik Fan Fic part 19

I had been in labour for 3 hours when the baby decided it wanted to come into the world. Zayn looked happy as he tightly gripped my hand. I pushed one last time and instantly knew something was wrong, I looked at Zayn, he was smiling.

‘You did it babe’

‘No Zayn, something’s wrong’

The room was eerily quiet. The midwife was walking around franticly. The room stayed quiet. Why was there no crying? Why wasn’t I holding my newborn baby? I knew why, I just didn’t want it to be true. The small glimmer of hope was already starting to fade. I looked back at Zayn and his smile faded into sadness. Tears started to fill my eyes. I felt as though I couldn’t even breathe.

‘What’s wrong with my baby? Why is there no crying?’

The midwife just looked at me with sad eyes.

‘I’m sorry. He didn’t make it’

‘It was a boy?’

‘Yes. I am so sorry for your loss, he’s such a beautiful baby, I really am sorry’

‘Can I see him?’

‘I’m not sure if that’s a good idea’

‘Let me see my baby. I want to hold him’

I was crying, I looked at Zayn, He also had tears sliding down his cheeks. It was like a part of us had been ripped away, I felt like a part of me was missing. The midwife carried over the lifeless body and placed it in my arms. The baby I was now holding was beautiful, he had bright blue eyes and Zayns soft brown hair. His skin had a beautiful olive tone to it and looked completely perfect. One of my tears fell onto the cheek of my dead baby and it slid down as if he was crying.

‘Could you give me and Zayn a moment please?’

‘Of course, I’ll be outside if you need me’

She quickly left. Zayn and I both stayed quiet for a few minutes, both of us trying to register what had happened.

‘He would have been so beautiful’

‘I know. I can’t believe this has happened to us. Just remember Emili that I love you’

‘I know you do Zayn, and I love you too’

‘Can we name him please? I know he’s not with us anymore but it doesn’t feel right leaving him nameless’

‘You do it... I cant...I just’

‘Rory Edward Malik, our son. Our beautiful baby boy’

‘I like that. It’s just a shame he never got to experience life. He would have been just like you’

‘Can I hold him?’

I handed Zayn our little boy and he hugged him close to his chest.

‘Oh Rory...’

He started to cry and carried on talking.

‘Why did you do this to us? You had such a great life ahead of you. I know I may not seem like dad material, but with you I would have made sure I was the best dad you could ever ask for. I was looking forward to watching you grow up. I never got to show you how to play football or sing like a pro. I never got to help you with your homework and take you and your mummy on trips to the zoo and other places. I never got to dress you like a mini me and take you on tour. Most of all I never go to tell you how much I love you. When I first found out you were on the way I was over the moon, you were going to be the best thing that ever happened to me and your mummy. Now you’re making us sad and I know you wouldn’t have wanted that. I know that you would have loved us so much and you would never have wanted to see us like this. If you can hear me, if there is even the tiniest bit of life left in you, please don’t be dead. Just wake up. For me. Just open your eyes and show us you’re okay. I know that’s a lot to ask for, but there was so much you didn’t get to do. I just hope that you’re happy, wherever you are. Your memory will live on, we will never forget you. We will miss you lots and we will always have you in our hearts, but it’s time to say goodbye now. We will meet again later in our lives when our time is up too, but until then, goodbye my son’

Both me and Zayn were in tears, the midwife came in to take our baby away. I cried harder.

I watched as she walked away with our lifeless son and broke down in Zayns arms.