Fearless Love

Capítulo Catorce

Until now, I still can't fathom how our once a loving relationship ended like this. I keep on thinking kung ano ba ang mali? Saan ba ako nagkulang? O may nagawa ba akong hindi niya nagustuhan? Masaya pa naman kami nang nasa San Diego pero bakit biglang naging ganito kami pagbalik namin dito sa Maynila?

Gusto kong maintindihan dahil sa tingin ko ay hindi sapat ang sinabi sa akin ni Raphael. Or maybe it's really the truth. Baka nga...baka nga hindi na niya ako mahal.

I just couldn't fully accept it.

"Ok ka lang ba? Ilang araw ka na kasing ganyan. Baka gusto mong mag-take ka muna ng leave para makapag-isip at makapagpahinga ka," ani Adrian na siyang nasa opisina ko na pala without me noticing.

The tears that I hold back kanina ay naguunahan na namang tumulo.

"Hoy, anong nangyayari sa'yo?" natatarantang tanong ni Adrian as he walks towards me upang hagudin ang aking likod.

"I keep on wondering kung ano bang mali sa akin? Bakit niya ko nagawang iwan na lang basta? Did he even loved me?" sunod-sunod kong tanong sa gitna ng aking paghikbi.

"Shhh. Kung si Raphael man ang problema. Hayaan mo at kakausapin ko siya," aniya habang ikinulong ako sa kanyang bisig.

I just shook my head on what he just said. I don't even think that Raphael will listen to him. His dark mysterious orbs keep flashing in my mind. Even though I don't want to admit, I can see finality in it.

Patuloy lamang ako sa paghikbi at ramdam ko na nababasa ko na nang sobra ang polong suot-suot ni Adrian pero kailangan ko talaga ngayon nang hug. I needed a friend who will listen to me and lend me their ears. I needed someone for me to confide with.

Si Ivy kasi, I'm sure na papagalitan lang ako. She's just going to lecture like it's my whole fault. Although mali ko rin naman talaga because I didn't even listen to her.

She's right about it but I don't need anyone to blame me. Lubog na ako that's why I don't want to sank deeper.

Ilang minuto rin ang lumipas bago ako tuluyang humiwalay kay Adrian.

"I'm sorry because nabasa ko na ang polo mo," I apologize at him pero binigyan niya lang ako ng malaki niyang smile.

Just that the same old Adrian that does not make everything a big deal. I'm so glad that I found a friend in him.

"May polo pa naman ako sa kotse. Ang mahalaga ay napagaan ko ang loob mo," he said but my tears are still overflowing.

Hindi ko maintindihan si kuya dati kung bakit patuloy niya pa ring minamahal si Jimena kahit malinaw pa sa kabilugan ng buwan na hindi naman ito masusuklian. But now, I can clearly see why. Even how much pain does it brings, you will still continue to love and love again that the same person who broke your heart.

I guess that is the consequence of loving. Love brings happiness yet it also bring pain especially if the love we thought would last suddenly vanish in thin air.

When I looked at Adrian, he immediately made faces dahilan upang mapatawa ako kahit sandali. I appreciate his effort just to make me smile...just for me to forget the pain even just for a little while.

"Ayan. Ngumiti ka na ulit. Mas bagay sa'yo ang ganyan 'tsaka isa pa ay pumapangit ka kapag umiiyak," aniya at binigyan ako ng isang ngisi.

Sinimangutan ko naman siya.

"Nakakainis ka talaga kahit kailan," sabi ko sa naiinis na boses pero maya-maya pa ay nagpakita ng isang maliit na ngiti even though there's still traces of dried tears on my cheeks.