dear diary | jihan

𝗇𝗂𝗇𝖾

dear diary,

yet another day of garbage. we're having appreciation day at school, where basically we send chocolates to whoever we appreciate the most.

i know shua and i aren't on the best of terms. but i still appreciate him a lot for making me so incredibly happy.

after all, my heart still beats for that adorable boy.

so i'm sending him a huge box of chocolates. specially addressed from me.

hope he won't throw them out. i haven't poisoned it.

on a second thought, maybe i should poison them and anonymously give them to chaesol. her lethality must be running low lately, seeing how toxic that bitch is.

i'm getting ahead of myself. i do want to go to heaven, after all. what's the point if i don't get to spend heaven staring at an angel jisoo, but rather suffering in hell with that devil of a girl that is chaesol?

xoxo, jeonghan.
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"we're breaking up."

"what?" chaesol stands up, shocked.

"we're breaking up. i can't stand how disgustingly dramatic you are," jisoo says.

"is this because of that jeonghan? are you leaving me for him?" chaesol asks.

"you're incredibly annoying, chaesol. all you do is make me do things that you don't want to do. why is it that all the people i like are two-faced?"

"that bitch influenced you, didn't he?"

"jeonghan was heaps better than you. at least he didn't turn me into a slave," jisoo spits. "and honestly speaking, i don't like the way you talk to or about him."

"he's so obviously jealous of our relationship! and you're letting it all get to you?" chaesol looks shocked.

jisoo crosses his arms. "if you ask me, you're the jealous one."

jisoo doesn't wait to even hear a single other word from chaesol as he leaves her behind.

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"okay class, i've got your chocolates!" the teacher shows off a basket.

"i can already tell those big boxes are for me," chaesol grins.

"disgusting," jisoo and jeonghan both whisper at the same time.

they stare at each other in shock, before quickly diverting their eyes away.

jeonghan's brain is buffering the entire time. jisoo called chaesol disgusting?

"why's she disgusting?" jeonghan whispers.

jisoo stares at jeonghan. "we broke up."

jisoo notices the way jeonghan's eyes sparkle as he nods.

"why though? you seemed head over heels for her."

"i guess she isn't all that she seemed to be," jisoo says.

"okay, children, i'll be handing out your chocolates for appreciation day. make sure to let the people you love know how much you do," the teacher announces.

"as if there is anyone who loves me," jeonghan mumbles, slumping on his desk.

jisoo glances at the boy. he looks miserable.

had jisoo been too hard on jeonghan? he did say once that jisoo was all that made him happy.

jisoo shakes those thoughts out of his head. he couldn't feel remorse for jeonghan, especially not after all that happened.

jisoo receives a huge amount of chocolates. he is extremely popular.

but what surprises him the most is a huge box of them.

he looks at the name. of course, it's jeonghan.

to be honest, jisoo had been wanting jeonghan to give him something. he sort of missed the little gifts jeonghan would give him.

he looked at jeonghan, and mouthed a thank you. jeonghan was surprised that jisoo actually appreciated it, but that made his little heart a bit happy.

"one for yoon jeonghan," the teacher says.

jeonghan's head snaps up. who in their right mind would give him one?

his eyes expand as he sees the teacher place a big box on his desk.

jeonghan checks the name to be sure. yup, sure enough, it's for him.

he smiles. "whoever sent this, thank you."

beside him, jisoo smiles a bit too.

jisoo had decided to give jeonghan a box. he'd noticed how sad jeonghan was lately. no one deserved to be that depressed.

and besides. overlooking the fact that he'd put chaesol in a coma and driven away all of jisoo's friends, he had been a great friend himself, and someone who had loved jisoo a lot. jisoo appreciates that.

jisoo finds himself wanting to give jeonghan a big hug. he's grown attached to the way jeonghan cuddles into him, what, with his adorable smile.

jisoo can't believe he's thinking this, but he misses jeonghan.

after class, jisoo makes sure to eat one of jeonghan's chocolates in front of him. he sees the boy smile out of the corner of his eye.

why was he trying so hard to make jeonghan happy?

because you care about him, jisoo~

jisoo tells the voice in his head to shut up. he doesn't care about jeonghan. the boy is an actual sociopath.

but... was he really at fault?

if jisoo were deeply in love with someone, and that someone were taken away from him, he wouldn't act that way, would he?

jisoo starts wondering. were jeonghan's actions justified?

chaesol was a total dick to him. and he had loved jisoo so incredibly much.

maybe his actions were justified.

"no, jisoo, you're crazy," jisoo tells hinself.

but he can't help but feel remorse for treating jeonghan the way he is.

because deep down, he knows he still cares for jeonghan.
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dear diary,

shua ate my chocolates! i guess he didn't hate them.

and someone gave me a box too! it's crazy... i wonder who.

if only it were shua.

oh well. jisoo or not, i'll cherish this box. maybe it's my guardian angel looking after my mental health.

about that. i'm probably depressed.

but what's new?

i've come to terms with the fact that i suck and that i hate myself. it's easy when i'm an actual pig.

anyways, i'll sleep now. i need some rest.

xoxo, jeonghan.