dear diary | jihan

𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗋𝗍𝖾𝖾𝗇

"i need to talk to you. regarding my brother."

jisoo sat down with jungah in the waiting lobby.

"you've been seeing him for the past week? how was he?" jungah's voice seems to shatter as she speaks.

"he was depressed. he even cried once because he missed you," jisoo replies in a dull tone.

jungah looks down, tears filling her eyes.

"i promised to stay with him forever... i promised.."

"i promised to do so as well. i guess we both couldn't keep our promises."

jungah looks up at jisoo with rage-filled eyes.

"you. i wish my brother never met you."

jisoo is taken aback. "what? why?"

"you were the tipping point. you gave him false hope. when he was with you, he was the happiest i'd ever seen him. but when you left him, he became totally broken. he stopped caring about everything else, and that only made it easier for- forget it."

"easier for what?" jisoo shifts to the edge of his seat.

"i said forget it. oppa didn't want you to find out. and besides, why would you care?"

"i love him!" jisoo cries. "he knows i love him, and yet he still..."

"i will honour oppa's wishes. i won't tell you."

"b-but-" jisoo takes out the letter. "look! he told me to ask you."

"i won't tell you. oppa is alive. when he's awake and ready, he'll tell you."

jungah stands up.

"and if not, i will. but until then, be patient."

her stare burns sharply into jisoo's eyes.

"don't ruin this too for him."

jisoo is left to wonder what exactly jeonghan is hiding as jungah walks away from him.

he's sitting bent over, deep in his thoughts, as jungah approaches him once again.

"since oppa told you to ask me, i guess you get a few more details."

she perches on a chair beside jisoo, and pulls her shawl over her shoulders so it sits evenly.

"when you left him... it broke him. really. for a few days, he forgot how to be human."

jisoo looks down. "i didn't realise that."

"of course you didn't. jeonghan hyung tells me you never looked back?"

"what? no, i couldn't get my eyes and mind off the guy for a whole month after that. i felt really bad, but i didn't know how to react..." jisoo trails off.

"i didn't know if his actions were justified or not. on one hand, i didn't like the idea of supporting whatever that was, but on the other... i really loved jeonghan. he was someone special."

"i didn't realise how much i'd grown attached to him until... until i didn't have him anymore."

the pair sit in silence for a while.

"even after all that, oppa's face lit up whenever he spoke about you. he didn't resent you. not even a little. he only blamed himself," jungah reveals.

"so he loved me all along?"

"yes."

"was... was i the reason he-"

"no, no," jungah reassured. "you were the best thing to happen to him. if anything, you deterred him from doing this early on in the first place."

"so, why did he? why did he have to do this?"