Carry On, my Angel: a Destiel Story

The break up

Dean's POV
"Angel?"

He took in a deep breath, but I couldn't breathe.

"Hello Dean, we need to talk." He sounded heartbroken. And he didn't look good, I mean he was still easily the sexiest person I've ever seen. But he looked ill.

"Okay, what's wrong baby?" I sat next to him, and went to hold his hand. He took it away quickly.
A pang of hurt went through me.

"I can't keep doing this Dean," he spoke barely over a whisper.

"Doing what?" Even though I knew the answer, I went ahead and asked.

"This. The hiding, the lying. I care so much about you Dean, but we can't keep dating." He wouldn't look at me.

"Cas, I can- I can tell them. You just have to give me time," I pleaded, desperately.

He finally looked over, tears streamed down his face.

"Oh Darling, You keep saying that, but it's not happening. You aren't ready, I know that. And I hate that I can't handle you not being ready. But I'm choosing what's best for me now. In all my relationships I've been the one who gets left, because I can't bare to hurt anyone. But I'm done getting hurt. I'm sorry Dean."
He kissed my cheek, then cupped it.

"Cas please," I said so quietly I couldn't tell if he heard.

"It's over Dean, I'll always love you."
With that, he got up and walked away.

I was petrified, I couldn't move. I couldn't run after him. All I could do was see was a vague shape of a familiar trench coat in the boy I was in love with.

It was hours before I could finally move. Like a robot I got in my car and drove home. I felt tears streamed down my face, but I refused to wipe them away. I deserved this. I was a dick and Cas had finally had enough.

Oh Cas.
Well if you had fucking told your little brother, then you both wouldn't be single and crying.
Brain stop it.
Nope. You should've told people.
For God's sake, I know that.

My brain didn't answer me.

Good.

I got to my apartment building, and climbed the stairs, opened the door and saw ben asleep omg the couch. Phoenix the puppy asleep next to him.

I gently picked him up and carried him to our room, and laid him in his bed.

8:00 pm.

Too early for bed, though all I wanted to do was sleep until the pain went away. Instead I got a beer and sat on the couch.

I don't know how long I sat there before Sam and Micheal sat next to me.

"Dean?" My cousin asked. "Dean, what's wrong?"

"Nothing, when did you get here?" I mumbled.

"Sam asked me to watch ben earlier, he had to help Jess with an emergency. Then I just stayed around."

I felt a pat on my shoulder, I glanced over at Sam.

You are not fine. Dean what happened?

"Knock it off you two, I don't want to talk." I pouted like a toddler.

If you don't talk, we will take your beer away.

I glared.

They didn't back down.
"Dean Jensen Winchester, you tell us what's wring right now!" God, he was bossy.

Is this about Cas?

I froze.

"What about Cas?" His name hurt to say.

"So it is about Cas?!" Micheal exclaimed, and moved so o could see both him and Sam at the same time.

What the hell happened?

"Well, I'm- I'm. I'm bisexual." It felt like a huge weight had been lifted. However judging by their expressions, they already figured that out.

I'm glad you finally told us. Sam smiled at me.

"Well, Cas and I were dating. But I was an ass, so he dumped me."

Their expressions softened, and they pulled me into a group hug.

"Oh Dean, what'd you do?" Mikey asked.

"I didn't tell Sam, or anyone. That's all he wanted me to do. Was to tell you lot. But I just freaked we very time."

Why would you freak out?

"Because! It was a big deal."

He gave me a look.

Did you think we wouldn't accept you? I mean our cousins are both gay, Dean. I think there's another reason you didn't tell us.

"Sam's right Dean, our family is full of gay and bisexuals. I'm gay, my brother is gay. Jo is a lesbian. "

"I don't understand what other reason would I have for not telling y'all?!"

I was really, really confused.

Lisa.

My blood boiled at her name.
"What about her?"

She left you, the first person you were in love with. And she left. You were afraid of losing him. Once you accept that you two were together, as soon as you told everyone it got serious. And you were afraid of him breaking your heart.

I froze.

Little brother is right, you weren't afraid of coming out. You were afraid of getting a broken heart. But in the process, you fucking had two hearts broken. Good job you dick.

Thanks brain, like I needed to hear that again!

"I really screwed up," I cried and my family comforted me.

"What am I going to do?" I hiccuped between tears.

"Oh we have a plan."