Longing to Be Known | Levi Ackerman x OC

10

-Kaisa-

The mirror was the first thing I went towards once I made it back to my room. Surely my appearance couldn't have been as bad as Levi made it sound when retreating. Before I do so, I yank out the elastic holding my hair up and let my relatively long, brown hair flow down my back.

Except it didn't.

All the dry blood of the titan's had acted as some sort of agent for my hair to stay in place which was worrisome as I imagined what brushing my hair would feel like once I was done my shower. Walking into my bathroom, I keep my eyes close and feel my way towards my body length mirror before standing up straight. I take a deep breath and let out an exhale before opening my eyes.

My undershirt was ripped at the top, showing more of my cleavage than what I felt was acceptable. Two of the belts from my ODM gear were snapped in half, dangling on my side. My white shirt was now a crimson red with wet spots all over from the blood that hadn't dried yet and my pants had open cuts from tumbling on the ground. The leather boots were completely scrapped, filled with scratches and new tears that I discovered every time I rotated my ankle.

But out of everything regarding my appearance, my face is by far the worst aspect. My entire face—probably because I kept wiping it to breathe—is covered in scratches, both small and large. My hair seems suitable for a bird to lay eggs in and my eyes are filled with disgust. I rush to the toilet and bend over, expelling everything I ate for breakfast into the tiny bowl. I try to keep my hair out of my face with my free hand until I realise there's nothing to push away from my session.

I don't bother to turn to see who it is, but they stand in silence as I purge my stomach and its contents into the toilet in front of me. I cough, choke, and feel my throat burn—and for a second, I wished that I was fighting titans instead of having to endure such an experience.

My body heaves but nothing comes out, and I am silently thankful. Taking a moment to recover I push back from the bowl and wrap my arms around my stomach which began to throb.

"Are you okay?" a familiar voice asks.

"Levi...I don't feel so good." I cover my mouth after my response.

A hand falls upon my shoulder and I can't even look up to meet his gaze. It's so incredibly embarrassing for Levi to see me like this, hell, it's embarrassing for anyone to see me like this.

"Let's get you cleaned up, Kaisa." He suggests.

My head nods in agreement and Levi pulls my body closer to his. My eyes widen for a second before realising he's helping me move away from the wall to get closer to the showerhead a foot or two away from me. I put a hand between us, creating distance and speak while keeping my head down.

"I can do it, thanks." My pride talks for me.

Dragging myself across the floor, I hoist myself up into the tub facing Levi's back as he closes the door behind him, locking it. For some reason, I don't panic. The heavens know that had this been another person, I'd use the last of my strength and cause havoc before I passed out. But I know Levi has no harmful intentions. It was Levi after all, there's no way he has feelings for any person, at least not like that. He makes his way towards the knob for the faucet and turns it, letting the cool water pool at my feet.

"In the bottom cabinet, there's a bucket and a cloth. Could you please grab it?" I plea.

He doesn't respond, but grabs the items requested and places the small tub at the faucet to fill up with water before adding some soap into the mixture. I close my eyes and let my head fall back against the tiled wall as I feel the water gradually become warmer. It's only a couple of moments before the water stops running, causing me to advert my attention to Levi.

"Levi, what are you doing?" I softly inquire.

He carries the bucket out of the bathtub and places it next to his new position on the floor next to me. Taking the cloth, Levi soaks it with the new solution and rings it out before bringing his hand closer to my face.

"L-Levi! I can do it myself" I stutter, turning my face away from him.

"You played hero today, it's about time I'd do the same for my comrades." He assures.

I turn to look at him and he places the now warm cloth against my cheek, cleaning me of any left-over blood and disinfecting my cuts. I wince and slightly pull away as he focuses on what feels like the largest cut on my face.

"Sorry. I don't mean to be a downer, but this is going to hurt like a bitch." He sighs.

"I shouldn't even be in this mess to begin with." I groan as he gently swipes the cloth across my nose.

"We all do things that we shouldn't do. The difference is that you ended up looking slightly better than a pissing insect." He shrugs.

I let out a giggle, and suddenly I find that I'm trying to prevent myself from laughing harder to stop the pain in my ribcage. Levi's face doesn't change, but I catch the glimmer in his steel, grey-blue eyes.

"What's so funny?" He asks.

"You're so silly, Levi. It's hilarious to think that people are actually scared of you and your insults." I force out a smile as the cloth burns my skin again.

"You're not scared of me?" He ponders.

"If you think about it, you've revealed all of your combat styles with me. I probably know more about you than you give me credit for. I would even bet I know you better than most people in this entire world!" I smirk.

"If someone was going to be the one to beat you, it would be me." I finish my small rant confidently.

Levi pulls back and dips the cloth into the bucket again before answering.

"I'm going to need to take a shower after this...again." He muttered.

"I'm flattered that you care so deeply for me that you've decided to put your hygiene at risk." I tease.

Levi squints his eyes and shakes his head.

"More like if you die, we all do." He states.

His comment takes me off guard. His backhanded compliment has my neuron's firing in attempt to decipher his intentions. Keeping me alive not because we're friends, but because the world needs me?

I reach up and take his wrist forcefully before taking the cloth from his hand and gently pushing his arm into his chest.

"I don't want or need your help." I coldly state. My head drops to my chest and I bring the cloth against my face to start on the other side which hadn't been touched yet.

"You're not fit to be by yourself, Kaisa." He concludes.

"If I could kill over twenty-five titans by myself, I can get rid of their presence forever by washing their remnants off myself. Leave. Immediately." I demand.

He sits there for a few moments before exiting my bathroom and eventually my room.

And I sat in my bathtub cleansing my face with a new mixture—tears. 

----

hi hey hello!

thanks for taking your time to read this chapter :) 

i won't be rushing their relationship as i feel like it's not realistic and i feel like there needs to be build up to that, so if you're looking for that, this novel isn't for you.

otherwise, i hope you like the direction this is going in! let me know if you have any tips!

much love and take care,

~cendiain