Longing to Be Known | Levi Ackerman x OC

52

-Kaisa-

After my conversation with Eren that night, I immediately left to avoid any possibilities of being caught again. From what I observed, it's clear to me that someone knew I'd be coming one of these days. Knowing the fact they've gone this far to prepare for this, they've probably already changed the schedule to accommodate the extra training the soldiers were going to be receiving. If this was the case, it makes sense why morning training is at a later time.

But Levi is the only person who gets to adjust the training periods for his squad, which means the likelihood of this person being him is high. Even though he's meddling with whatever this plan is, Levi still wants to make sure his comrades get enough rest.

Ever since the encounter in the hall while Jean covered my ass, I've ironically been going out to the markets a lot more since I have to upkeep my own appearance. Doing laundry in the underground is more of a hassle than it should be, so I've started paying some women in the town to do it for me. They run a small business, so I figured I might as well help the other women in the city. It's definitely an extra expense but being someone who doesn't have to worry about rent nor anyone else financially makes it manageable.

But that's besides the point.

Tonight—in about ten minutes, to be exact—will represent the first day of my little operation with the soldiers who are willing to train in the hours of the early morning. To say I'm anxious is an understatement. I'm incredibly worried I'll be found training my subordinates and be sent to the courts for capital punishment. I'd prefer to avoid unnecessary death at a young age, so hopefully everything goes smoothly.

I'm unaware if Eren managed to grab some gear for me, however, I'm sure he's figured out a way to obtain the items I requested of him.

Things have been going too smoothly. It's almost concerning that there haven't been any major roadblocks in the way of this plan, making me believe that someone higher up in leadership is preventing this from reaching Erwin.

And I know for sure that it's not Levi.

Levi isn't one to ignore or bypass any of Erwin's commands or parameters regardless of what's at stake, evidently.

A part of me wants to be lazy in my stealth as I sneak onto the Survey Corps land in hopes of coming across him so I can hear him say my name once more. This same part wishes that he'll come with an entire plan to win back my trust to which I feel like I'd inevitably say yes to. However, I don't know if I could ever allow myself to be cared for like that again.

I simply don't deserve it.

This cruel world leaves no space for hope, freedom, or lovel; this world only displays what life could be, only to crush these desires in such gruesome ways. It may be dramatic, but when the moment I'll need to make a choice between who lives and dies approaches, I'll be ready with a clear mind.

Humanity is selfish.

The value of human life is disregarded daily, and those who do appreciate their lives are faced with the reality of danger outside of these walls. Yet, even so, they are sent into battle as disposables.

Regardless, my self-pity session is cut short once I hear a call that I was looking for: a certain chirp from one of the residential birds in this area.

Eren mentioned the alert to meet on the training grounds would happen through one of the new recruits from his year. Sasha, I believe her name was, apparently grew up in the forests so she picked up some quirks. Thankfully her call was loud enough for me to begin climbing down from the trees I've been hiding in, and hopefully it wasn't loud enough to garner any unwanted attention.