Longing to Be Known | Levi Ackerman x OC

75

-Kaisa-

Being alone right now isn't the best choice for me—I've gotta find Levi, or someone to be around before my anxieties overwhelm me. I leave through the same exit Levi did earlier in hopes of finding him. Searching for any traces he's left behind, I stumble across an alleyway where he sits against the wall. His arm rests across his propped up knee with a teacup in his hand with his head down.

Levi...

His eyes shoot up, almost surprised to see me in front of him. Instead of responding, he turns his head to the side, gesturing. Levi is undoubtedly sorrowful. His shoulders are defeated and his posture is poor. My heart aches for the man, and I quietly shuffle my way towards him before sliding down the wall to sit right next to him.

"We'll see the sea! We'll see water with so much salt that the merchants could never run out!" Armin's voice enters my senses.

My heart sinks; this is why Levi is so upset.

"Yeah...the sea." Eren responds.

"Lands with an abundance of sand! Ground that is too hot to stand on! A field of frozen water that's slippery! Don't you see, guys? We're so close!" He exclaims.

"I guess we are, aren't we?" Eren lightheartedly answers.

"We'll find a way to do it, all three of us. I'm not dying until I see the sea!" Armin affirms.

Levi's eyes stare deep into the cup without emotions before his hair falls across his vision. With softened eyes, I take hold of his free hand, clutching it in mine. He doesn't react to my action and doesn't bother holding mine. Instead, his hand lays limp while his hair covers half his face, hiding its intentions from me.

Those three are something special, aren't they, Levi?

He doesn't respond.

We'll see the sea together too, Levi. And when we do, you can see it for all those who watch over you from above.

His hand clutches mine immediately after my words enter his head.

Do you really think that, or are you just bullshitting me?

I'd like to think that my parents are with me. I'd like to think they'd be proud of who I am today, and the only way they'd know that is if they'd be able to see me.

His hand squeezes mine when my words enter his head, almost as if he was wincing. Just as he does so, footsteps leave the area from the other side; the kids must be heading to bed to prepare for the big day tomorrow. A shiver goes down my spine and I finally notice how cold it is outside right now, but instead of asking to go in, I remain next to Levi in silence.

"What if the sea doesn't exist?" He asks aloud.

I pause before answering, "I think they'd be disappointed, but I also think that they'd be glad to discover that together. They're the type of kids to search for something beyond what's in front of them; maybe they're not really looking for the sea—maybe they're looking for something different; maybe they just want change."

"Change, huh?" He rhetorically asks out loud.

"I don't know what's out there." I softly speak the obvious, "But I do hope it's beyond what my measly mortal mind can dream of."

I lean my head against the concrete wall, "It'd be boring if I always knew the answer—I can't imagine how painful it'd be knowing every single case of suffering in the world. Sometimes, ignorance really is bliss, but obsession for what may not exist can be dangerous."