Longing to Be Known | Levi Ackerman x OC

48

[TW: panic attacks.]

-Levi-

Hange and Mikasa finally awake from their recovery period and appear determined to search for Eren and Ymir as soon as possible. Currently, Hange is drawing out the directions the four titan-shifters took based on their exit—all of which align with the messenger's instructions from Kaisa. Connie, I believe his name was.

To see Kaisa in such a state hurt beyond description... Words fail to express the devastation conveyed through her body language; my own words failed to leave my lips in support of her. Empty promises are what she received despite my own conviction to keep them; my incompetence is staggering.

I stay silent while Erwin gives his instructions but listen intently knowing that Mikasa and Eren are unaware of Kaisa's current situation. It'd be best to keep this quiet so any quarrels can be left for a more appropriate time. Any sort of distraction right now is an advantage for our enemies and any advantage for them is a possible breaking point for humanity.

"Let's go!" Erwin finishes his directions. The soldiers respond with a cry and a solute before heading towards their horses which were already waiting for them over the wall.

I tap my tank lightly which reminds me of the way Kaisa checks her tank, or the way she gleams at her soldiers before they go into battle. I step off the wall and remember how her hair flows when she falls freely with eyes closed and a smile resting on her lips once I swing before landing on the grass. Perhaps it's the carefree illusion she fronts for others; maybe it's the way she selflessly pours her efforts to build others up; it's possible that it could even be the way she looks at me with those emerald orbs filled with unconditional trust.

These thoughts plague me as I reach the horses. I fix my saddle and swing myself over, resting comfortably before adjusting the reins to my liking. As I'm about to leave, my peripherals notice someone climbing on Grace. My heart skips and my head shoots over to see Kaisa preparing her beloved horse. The joy energizes my body quickly but is soon filled with disappointment once my delusion is faced with reality—a soldier other than Kaisa is preparing this horse.

"Sorry, that horse is unavailable." I intervene, riding my horse over.

"Captain Levi! My apologies, however, I was instructed to use this one." The soldier replies.

"Unfortunately there's been some mistake. You can use another." I hold my hand out for the reigns.

"Sir, which horse will I use then?" She presses.

"Discuss this matter with someone else, if there's an issue, they can send someone out to me. This horse is reserved for someone else." My tone sharpens.

"Y-Yes, sir!" She runs off.

I click my tongue in annoyance and lead Grace back to the stable and into her designated resting spot, tying the reins into a knot before throwing it over the hook which thankfully lands. I know that I may be unable to share my support with her now, but perhaps this act will be of some meaning to her, even if it is unlikely.

Tugging slightly on my horse, we head off towards the group of soldiers far ahead which aren't that difficult to catch up to. My body functions without thought as I dissociate from the situation, killing titans with ease before landing comfortably on my horse. The praise from other soldiers are deafened by the regrets reminiscing throughout my head, lingering and cursing me as my blades pierce the flesh of our enemies.

A messenger heads my way. It isn't long until our—or, my—squad locates the traitors and lashes an attack on them. Fear creeps through my body as I make my way towards them in hopes that nothing irrational takes place because of their heightened emotions. Dead bodies litter the ground that I travel and I force myself to keep looking forward to avoid any external emotions from distracting me.