Miles Away

Chapter 18 - Blatant Reminders

Chapter 18
Ella
Blatant Reminders

I’d never felt anything like it before.

The way my heart tore at the seams as I watched it all unfold before me. The way the headlights seemed so much brighter in the dark of the night. How his face was confused, then almost…settled…calm. The tires screeched to a halt just as the impact hit its end.

I couldn’t move.

Everything seemed to slow down in that moment. The man behind the wheel of the large SUV came out, running frantic hands through his hair. He looked around in a hast, searching for someone to help the man in the middle of the road. Traffic was building up behind his car, some drivers finally realizing what was going on.

I couldn’t breathe.

I heard the sirens in the distance. No matter how close the emergency vehicle was coming towards the accident, it still seemed far off…so out of reach. It was cold, but my body wasn’t registering the bitterness of the whipping wind. My hair was blowing everywhere, getting into my fogged vision. I felt something wet cascading down my cheek, no focusing on where it came from. I wasn’t sure if it was raining…or if I’d been crying.

My limbs were frozen.

His blood was pooled in the street, creating masses of attention. It was like he was an act in a circus, the way they gaped and shrieked at the sight. The harsh wind managed to move the bottle he’d once had in his hand. It rolled, the glass clinking against the rocky, black concrete of the road before me. It veered to a stop at the sidewalk, where I was glued to the rubble. My eyes finally moved from the scene to the bottle…the wretched, life-altering bottle.

Then I ran.

I ran as fast as my previously stiff limbs could carry me. I screamed so high and frantic that I was pretty sure I scared the innocent bystanders. I kneeled down next to his body, still not quite zeroed in on the situation. I still felt distance, feeling like I couldn’t reach out and grab it. I tried to find his hand, searching frantically with my own. When I did, I felt the tingle that always happened when we touched. The wetness falling down my cheeks was going down a road of its own. I couldn’t seem to stop the shivers…the tremors that reverberated throughout my body. He wasn’t reacting to me. He wasn’t looking at me. I needed him to look at me.

Then he was pulled from me.

I held on until the man dressed in white, scrub looking clothes wrenched our hands apart. He tried saying something to me, but I couldn’t listen. I couldn’t look away from his body being dragged away from me. I couldn’t escape this gut-wrenching, heart tearing feeling. I needed to be by his side. He needed to open his eyes.

I finally reached up to my face to clear some of the wetness. My heart chilled when I realized that the wetness only became worse. I slowly put my hand into view, almost feeling close to vomiting. The bright red in sight was only digging the knife in my heart deeper, pulling me back into reality.

This all had to be a nightmare. This couldn’t be real life.

And then I screamed.

I jolted awake, the dark locks whipping away from my face as I did. I scowled, feeling the tension building in my neck. I rubbed at it with a hard hand, trying to massage away the pain. I looked around as I did so, taking in deep breaths. I hated this room. I wanted to get out of it.

My eyes followed the large machine in front of me, watching the lights dim in and out. I heard the distant noise of beeping from another machine hooked up next to the former. I looked around once more, taking in the pure white of the walls. Everything in this room was so pristine, so plain. Even the furniture for guests was simple, with its cheap, scratching material. It all made me want to run a muck in the room, kick over the machines, splatter paint on the cream colored walls.