Miles Away

Chapter 10 - Me & You

Chapter 10
Ella
Me & You

A/N - A special thank you to Stephanie (xTheGirlNextDoor) for the BEAUTIFUL cover she created for me! (: Also, the song that Jagger sings for El is on the side, it's by Conditions. Thanks to anyone who has read/voted/commented, etc.!

As I chastely kissed Jagger goodbye as he walked out of my apartment door, I felt my heart sink just a bit. It had finally hit me that he was leaving tomorrow morning, and the choice to stay together or to leave it go…was all up to me. I couldn’t handle the pressure, the annoying mantra that my conscience was repeating in my mind. I knew that Jagger meant well, and a part of me on the rational side of my mind knew that this could be something bigger than I imagined it would be.

But my heart, the most fragile part of me, was telling me that this was going to end badly. It was like a great big neon sign saying, “Stop here. Don’t travel further.” It was warning me that I could get hurt. Jagger seemed like the type to bounce back quicker than an expanded rubber band. Where as, I would be left in my own pile of self wallow once again.

I stared at the demo in my hand and heaved a heavy breath, one I didn’t know I’d been holding. I felt a little frightened to see what he had to say, what he sang to me. That song he told me to press play to could hold words I wasn’t ready to hear, feelings I wasn’t ready to conquer. But nonetheless, I was severely curious to see what he had to say about me, what he felt in that messed up heart of his. The raging alcoholic with the commitment issues actually wrote me a song.

I wasn’t sure how to feel about this.

I trekked quietly to my bedroom, careful not to disturb my downstairs neighbors at this ungodly hour of night. I closed my bedroom door shut behind me and collapsed onto the bed with the demo in hand. My laptop was open, the screen on sleeping mode, until I clicked the small button to pop open the reader. I carefully slipped the CD into the reader and took in another breath.

I didn’t know what to expect when the words were going to play around me.

I skipped to the final track on the iTunes library and fidgeted lightly in my spot on the bed. I absentmindedly chewed on my pinky nail, my mind whirling with the choices I knew I had to make. My past was coming back to bite me in the ass, and my thoughts were suddenly surrounded around the downfall of a relationship that was mine almost three years ago.

Was Jag like him? Was my sister back to her old ways? Could I trust her to be in the same room as him if I called him my boyfriend? Could I even trust him on the road with millions of gorgeous girls throwing themselves at him left and right? Could I handle the distance?

Hello,
I’ll press my lips to yours to explain
Sporadically
Using my tongue to reiterate

In the form of an oxygen dream
I’m dying to breathe you deeply

I halted the biting of my finger nail and my limbs froze at their ends. His voice surrounded the confinements of my bedroom walls, enveloping me into his warm voice. His tone was so gentle…so sincere, I didn’t know what to think.

Someday, someday
I’ll have to turn and walk away
To find my place
I’ll search this whole world over
But everything I am
You’ve got it, you’ve got it
And I will return
I swear it…I swear it

I couldn’t fathom any feeling or rational thought. It was completely ridiculous how one girl could be so affected by one boy. Just his voice alone sent my mind into a whirlwind. How could he feel this way about little old me? I was just some fucked up, fragile hearted girl who he met at a party. We slept together once and suddenly my entire walls I’d spent years building up were breaking, piece by piece before him. How could one person manage to do this to another?