The One?

Chapter 6 ( what now? )

"Sometimes the hardest part isn't letting go but rather learning to start over."

With my love life now being at rock bottom, I needed to learn to start over now more than ever.

Throughout the year of 2019 I had endured a lot of stress and starting 2020 wasn't really helping. But things started getting interesting mid April. 

Growing up I'd been raised In a Christian home. Church every Sunday's and Wednesday, sang in the choir, played the piano, ushered and did offerings. Church was all I knew,  rather all I had known.

I'd realized that I had never chose to do any of those things except for play the piano. Everything else was kinda forced on me because I could do those things, however just because one is able doesn't mean one is willing.
I'd grown tired of being what felt like used for my reliability. I wanted something new for myself, something I would choose, or something that actually made me happy.

Looking for new things to do, new hobbies I'd met a guy named Tomas. He and I clicked immediately. At the time I wasn't Gay but was willing to open up. He and I talked a few days and he slowly grew on me and still is, but the only issue was that we'd never met before. Never the less, once again it didn't bother me; and this time I didn't care of it did or not. Tomas was now the cause of my "Conversion"
I'd decided to be Bisexual and give him a shot. Before we officially started dating, we'd already decided to eventually have sex. Which I was down for, but when we started dating I'd realized he wanted more. He told me, the less I have the more I'll cherish what I don't yet have.  It may not mean much to some of you, but this spoke loudly to me.

A number of my friends are convinced I am being cat-fished, and for a split second I'd thought I was as well. However, I remembered the things me and Tomas did and talked about that they didn't know, and it was none of their business. They are entitled to their opinion and I'll respect theirs but I'm not gonna let it get in the way of our relationship.

With my relationship with Tomas I was reading to take one step then the next then the next as he was too but didn't. I couldn't understand for the life of me why that was. I went to my friends for advice and their answer was once again... Cat-Fished... so I talked to him about it. He told me that he was going slow very slow enjoying the journey that we were taking and recording every moment. That's when it hit me. I completed step one of letting go, but now I needed to start over. So I stepped back and let him take the lead and now I'm learning to enjoy every moment.

Since Tomas and I live in two different states hundreds and hundreds of miles apart. Maintaining a long distance relation was important to the both of us. We learned a few things.

While communication is very important in LDR's not over communicating is just as important. Enjoy the time part you both have that way you'll have more to talk about when you do text. Open up, but not too much timing is everything. Trust and don't over think. Reminiscing on the good times rather than the bad will prove much more beneficial when in doubt. Remember that you aren't the only one going through problems talk them out. Hearing each others voice sometimes is more than enough to bring a smile and keep it there.

Although me and Tomas don't FaceTime or even talk on the phone we love each other. Most people would say how do you love each other but don't text all the time or FaceTime and talk on the phone. That is simply because our love isn't defined by what we don't do but rather what we do. To us You can't love someone the same way you love someone else, because you haven't experienced the same things. For Tomas and I, our love is defined by our journey together; and our journey is defined by us. It's part of learning to start over.

Tomas and I started a journey to better each-other, our selves, and our relationship.

"The beginning is always today."