The One?

Chapter Fill in

"At the very moment when people underestimate you is when you can make a breakthrough."

Tomas and I have had the best couples of weeks either of us could ask for! Everything was great full of love and caring friendships. Unfortunately I had started reminiscing again longing for more... as if I didn't know that only the foolish and greedy want more and more. I wanted more affection from him. Sometimes it seemed like he put his friends over us when I've put us over my whole life. I have disobeyed my parents. Sinned against my self, my home, my church, but most importantly I had sinned against God. As long as I believe that what I'm doing is wrong I won't be fully comfortable.

Sometimes I find myself asking MYSELF! Do you want to see for yourself? Yes... yes I do.... wait why don't I just trust Gods words for it... is he even real. I find myself in doubt struggling to keep peace of mind as this SIN slowly creeps upon me ready to consume and control all that I have left. Can I really be happy going against everything I've learned growing up? Trusting a stranger Bc they told me they loved me?

You know it's funny... just the other day my dad asked me do I like my friend Tamara? What do I want my wife to look like? " I am in Love with another man, and I want to live with him, and marry HIM," I said... or I wish I COULD'VE said. Instead I replied with a simple, "I am not sure."

I wonder how life will be be Tomas and I are finally able to Live together. Being in his company is something I want more than anything else as of right now. After we build our house the way we want it what will come after that?

I wonder if he truly feels the same way I feel about him.