I have feelings too {phan fanfiction}

Revealing

Phil's P.O.V

Today is the day that all will end either good or bad. Perfect or my worst nightmare. I see dan on the couch with his "surfer" hair. He looks so damn cute. "Morning phil" dan says, sounding a bit sick. "Morning.. Are you okay? You sound sick..." "I think i got a little cold but whatever it will eventually blow over, im fine"
"Okay, well im going into town, wanna come?"
He sighs. He pauses.., thinking. "Sure why not, i have nothing better to do." I start thinking of how im gonna express my love for dan without fucking everything up. "Come on dan!" I yell up the stairs, impatiently. "Im straightening my hair! Give me like, ugh, 10 minutes? I promise i'll try to hurry." I decide to just sit on the couch and think of him. His perfect chocolate brown eyes. His chestnut brown hair. His tall, perfect body. His soft, cute lips. If you look up perfection in the dictionary it would say daniel james howell. i hear dan rustling around in his room. "Almost ready?!"
"Umm, yeah let me put shoes on!"
I start walking outside, shutting the door behind me.

Dan's P.O.V

For some reason i can't stop thinking of phil. Of us. I wonder what he's thinking.. Does he ever think of me? In a different way? Im nervous for no reason. I jump inside the car, apparently a little fidgety. "Dan, are you okay?" "of course, im fine, why?
"Well, your acting hyper and your sweaty." i didn't even realize, im drenched in sweat.
"Probably from, uh, running around so much, ya know, getting ready and all" i forced a smile. It was obvious as fuck. Smooth dan.

Phil's P.O.V

Dan's acting strange. I would be too right now but atleast i can hide it. We drive up to starbucks because why not. Its starbucks. I decide to break the silence. "Dan, i hope you know, you can tell me anything, anytime, right?"
"Yeah, i know, why are you so suspicious?"
"Im just worried.. I want everything to be okay.. Please tell me whats wrong, i dont like secrets..."
"Phil.. I.. I can't.. Im sorry.."
Right then and there my heart shatters. Dan and i tell eachother everything. I notice that my eyes go teary. I can't take it. I have to hide this. "Can we go home?.." I try to be normal.. "Sure...?" I drive, fast. I need to go home. I have the urge, the crave. "phil.. Why are you going so fast, your scaring me.."
"Calm down, it's fine"
Wow that was harsh. I pull in and jump out immediately not waiting for dan to catch up. I throw the keys on the table and run to the bathroom and lock the door. I start crying and looking at my face in the mirror as streams of tears flow down my face. I find my razor i hid. I've been clean for weeks. Time to break that. I whimper so dan can't hear as i do the first cut. It feels so good to feel the pain i deserve for being such a fuck up. I go half way down my arm. It doesn't bleed which is unusual. I grab a hoodie and throw it on. I didn't use a bandage or toilet paper, just left it open. Then i realized. That was a mistake. I go to the kitchen and grab a snack. My arm feels..., wet. I pull up my sleeves to see my arm covered in blood. Dan walks in and see's. He looks at me in the eyes. He looks... Broken. Tears stream down his face. Almost as fast as mind did. I can tell, he doesn't know what to do. Shocked. I tried to pull down my sleeve but failed. I grab a towel and try to ignore dan. I don't like seeing him heart broken. I sweep up the few drops of blood on the floor. As im down on tbe ground, crouched, dan comes up behind me and drags me to his room. He pushes me on his bed and sits on top of me so i cant move. He puts up my sleeve, and looks at hit. He leaves, leaving me lonely in his room. He comes back with a wet paper towel and fixes my arm to where its no longer bleeding. He once again sits back on top of me. He gets down towards my face and whispers "never again.." He lays soft kisses all up my wrist. That gave me butterflies. I love how he cares so much. He pushes me up and takes me to the bathroom with him. He wants my blade. I hand it to him. He walks outside and throws it to where its no longer in sight. he walks up to me and hugs me and again lays a gentle kiss on my forehead. "Please phil" he whimpers. "Did i do this to you?" He says, tears in his eyes. i dont know what to say. I love him, i dont wanna hurt his feelings. Thats the last thing id ever want to do. "I dont know..." My voice shaky. "Dammit phil! How do you not know!" He's screaming now as he just realized. "Im sorry."
"Can i tell you something, dan?"
"Anything.. Anything."
"I really love you"
"Phil, i know, we say that all the time."
"No, dan, i LOVE you, so so much. You dont even understand your seriously perfect and im just really jealous."
He looks somewhat shocked. He just stares into my eyes. "Phillip Michael Lester... I love you too. So much. For 6 years, ive loved you." He passionetly lays his lips on mine. Our lips connect, everything perfect. Im in my glory. "I love you daniel james howell."
"I love you too, phillip michael lester.. Aka my little lion.." He smirks and he sees me blush. "Forever?" i mumble..

Dan's P.O.V

"Forever."