The Three Laws of Motion [Damien Haas, Shayne Topp, Ian Hecox]

INTERACTION - 4. Hi, Welcome to Chilly.

Hey there! How are you all doing?

Man, I wish Smosh(dot)Store would release new merch designs, like for Boneless, Damien's iconic "Princess Diana" and "Under Arrest" bits, a shirt for all of Shayne's characters, and more. That would be so cool, and I would be so broke.

Also, thank you so much for 700+ reads here, 1.5k+ reads on ABNQ, and a stunning 4k+ reads on AWITG! Thanks, you guys. Y'all are nice.

Anyway, let's get to the fourth Ian chapter, which I think has the vaguest description ever. I should have worked more on that, but here we are. Ian's POV and see ya!

-/-/-

In every point of a relationship, there's this factor called the Jacket Point, where if Person A lends Person B their jacket when it's chilly, Person A gets "plus points" on Person B for being sweet. Why do I know the Jacket Point? It's because I've done it myself.

I met Y/N that way, really. I was in New York for a meeting, and I brought Matt and Mari with me. Well, I almost did, because we had accidentally booked two flights for three people instead of one flight for all of us. I offered to go alone, because if I went with Matt, both of us would get no work done at all in-flight, while if I went with Mari, we would get completely lost.

So I went alone, and go alone, I did. Arriving in New York wasn't the toughest part; it was getting checked into the hotel and then having to wait for an entire day for my colleagues to arrive from Los Angeles. Since I was used to being alone, I decided to try go around New York on my own.

What else could possibly go wrong?

It was December, and our hotel was nearby Rockefeller Center, where humans and maybe birds if it weren't so cold flocked by to buy some gifts, watch Christmas shows, and literally have a fun time with the people they love. I definitely did not fit in there, but after getting some warm coffee to soothe the chilliness and wrapping myself up in bundles to avoid the cold, it felt somehow okay. Walking around wasn't a problem, but walking alone posed some existential crises, from "When will I get married?" to "Will I ever get married?" and let me tell you, it sucked thinking about that on the happiest season of the year.

I decide to take some pictures, but selfies just wouldn't cut it, so I approach this woman who's just on her phone nearby the huge Christmas tree. I greet her, "Hey, uh, would you mind taking some photos of me?"

"Oh, not at all," she replies with a smile as she puts her phone back in her pocket. "So, uh, the tree has to be seen in its entirety or is it already okay if I just take a picture of you dead center?"

"You can do both if you want," I answer as I stand in front of the tree. "Do a countdown, though, please and thanks."

"Okay, one, two, three... smile!" she exclaims as I awkwardly stand in front of the tree. "Err, no poses to do or anything? Just stark?"

"Uh, do you recommend a pose?" I ask as I check the photos out.

"Do this," she says, raising her arms and clapping her hands above her head. "Like a Christmas tree. It's wacky, but promise, it'll look cute on you."

"Really?" I say, turning to her.

"Yeah, you're all bundled up, so you look like a Christmas tree, especially because your coat's green," she replies, grinning.

So I do the stupid pose because she said it was cute, and I laugh at the end results. "Wow, it is a good pose," I remark, scrolling through the pictures. "I, well, uh... I'm not travelling with anyone right now, so thanks for taking these photos for me."

"Oh, same," she replies. "I'm from LA, and I inconveniently underpacked so I'm freezing right now."

I look at my coat. The girl's nice, she's from LA, and she's cold. So I take it off and place it on top of her shoulders. "Don't worry," I assure her. "I'm all bundled up even without a coat. It's the fats."