The Tipping Point (Kylo Ren X Reader)

Panic

*Trigger Warnings: Reliving death, blood

You entered your chambers and sighed heavily, glad that the celebrations had ended. You went to sit on the edge of your bed but a sudden sharp knock prevented you from doing so. You stood up and stomped towards the door, expecting to see an angry Kylo Ren but were instead met with the sour expression of General Hux.

"What do you want," you snapped.

He sneered, "I know how you feel about this arrangement but you have to at least pretend that you are happily married to Commander Ren. I don't care if you sleep on the cold, hard floor as long as its Ren's cold, hard floor." Hux turned and strutted away.

Your eyes lit with fiery anger. You would bet all of Malachor that Kylo Ren had put him up to this. And yet not minutes later you arrived in front of Kylo's chambers wearing a black velvet dress that was comfortable enough to sleep in. You knocked on the door and it flew open revealing Kylo Ren's shirtless body. You refused to look at his beautiful muscular chest, choosing instead to look at the floor.

"Hux said that I have to sleep in here," you mumbled.

Kylo moved to allow you inside but said nothing. You walked in and noticed that his room was larger than yours. The last time you had been in his room you'd been too busy letting Kylo devour your soul to actually notice what was in it. You breathed a sigh of relief when you noticed a black couch and moved to sit on it. You stared into Kylo's eyes waiting for him to say something but he only regarded you quietly. Remembering your argument from earlier, you decided to speak up.

"What," you demanded.

He still said nothing, staring at you intently. After another awkward minute,  he spoke gruffly, "I don't think of you as my property." He turned and walked into the bedroom but stopped in the door frame and turned to face you again. "But if you ever suggest something like that again I will treat you like property." He went to turn around but you stopped him.

"Kylo, wait. I uh- have something for you."

You stood up and pulled a small black box out of your dress pocket. You had retrieved it from Isa earlier. You opened it, revealing a flower made entirely of glass.

"On my planet, if a woman chooses to leave in order to get married, she gives this to her husband." You placed the flower carefully into his hand.

Kylo examined it silently then walked into his bedroom, leaving the door cracked.

You sighed and lay down on the couch. You stared at the ceiling while replaying Kylo's words quietly in your head. I don't think of you as my property. It wasn't an apology but you knew that it was as close as Kylo Ren got to an apology. You stared at the ceiling for what seemed like hours until you finally heard Kylo's soft snores. He was asleep. You sat up and stared at his door. Your brain and heart fought each other as you slowly stood up. He left the door cracked. That's like basically an invitation, your heart argued. What if he gets angry, your brain asked. You silenced the voices as you slowly pushed open the door to his bedroom. Kylo lay on his side and you slowly wiggled into bed next to him, making sure that you were far enough away that you wouldn't accidentally wake him in your sleep. You curled into a ball and drifted off almost immediately, the feeling of safety hitting you in waves of warmth.

Your dream began peacefully as you realized that you were in the dining room on Malachor. You enjoyed the meal in front of you, admiring the beautiful silver plates that you missed so dearly. You looked up and realized with confusion who was sitting across from you. It was your mother. You tried to speak to her but your mouth wouldn't move. You watched mutely as the mysterious maid poured your mother's drink. You wanted to warn your mother not to drink it but your mouth refused to budge. You observed numbly as she stood up and grabbed onto the table for support. Your body forced you to grave her and hold her in your arms when she fell. You were a pawn in your brain's evil game. Your mother's body slowly deteriorated into sand and you were left staring at the blood dripping from your hands. You shook violently, unable to look away as blood ran off your hands, staining your dress. You stared at your hands for what seemed like eons until a voice spoke. 

"Wake up."

Your brain allowed you to look in the direction of the voice. It was Kylo. You were still in shock, only able to look at him and then back to your hands.

"Wake up," Kylo repeated firmly.

Your dream disappeared and you shot up into the real world. A large wave of nausea attacked you and you ran to the bathroom, making it in time to spew your stomach contents into the toilet. You retched until you couldn't anymore then sat against the wall, trembling uncontrollably. A large hand offered you a wet washcloth and you took it gratefully.

"Is that really how she died?" Kylo's tone was even but when you turned to look into his eyes, concern was written across his face.

You nodded slowly while whispering a small "yes". You looked at him pleadingly. "Can you please leave." You weren't ready for Kylo to see you like this.

He nodded grimly and walked out of the bathroom. Seconds later you heard the hatch door shut and immediately lost it. You sobbed so intensely that you had to lay on the floor to steady yourself. You hadn't yet dealt with your mother's death and now your brain was punishing you for locking it away. You cried until tears would no longer come out. You stared at the tile for a long time. 

///

You hadn't realized you had fallen asleep until gentle hands shook you awake. You opened your eyes and stared groggily into Isa's worried eyes. 

"My lady are you alright?"

You nodded and tried to sit up but your body was too weak from dehydration. Isa helped you prop yourself against the wall and Lenna entered the bathroom holding a glass of water which she handed to you. 

You took a small sip then looked into Isa's eyes, "how did you know I'd be in here?"

"Commander Ren told us. He sent us to check on you."

"Who did this to you? Whoever it was I'll kill them. Was it Ren? I knew that son of a bitch was no good..."

"It wasn't anyone, Lenna," you interjected.

She relaxed her stance and looked down. "Oh."

You were tired of sitting on the floor. "Help me up please."

Isa and Lenna both grabbed one of your arms and assisted you in standing up.

"Isa go get a dress from my chambers."

Isa nodded and scurried out of the room while Lenna gently helped you remove your clothes and step into the shower. The hot water calmed your frayed nerves as you gently washed the sweat and puke off of your body. After a few minutes, you turned off the shower and stepped into the towel that Lenna had ready for you. You dried off your body and moved into your bedroom where Isa was waiting with a simple black dress. You stepped into it and allowed Isa to zip you up. You looked in the mirror and realized with dismay that your eyes were extremely bloodshot and puffy. Isa scurried to the kitchen returning seconds later with an ice pack. You applied the ice pack to your eyes and waited for the redness to calm. As you waited, your mind became certain of the plan it had created. You set the ice pack down and led your warriors out of your chambers to an unmistakeable red-headed idiot.

"General Hux," you said calmly. "It's time for me to return to Malachor."