Words are not enough

22.

Ariana

„I want to apologize for how I was acting. You were so lovely and cute to me but I didn't know how to react. But now I know and I'm gonna keep the baby."
My mouth wide opened as I stood up and hugging her. I was so happy for her and for Ron. They fit together and that made me happy. We talked about a few things like if she wants to move to Ron's. I really don't like to live alone so I told Aiden that we may should move together too. I mean we're dating for almost one year and maybe he wants to propose me one day. Anyway after they went home, the two of us lay down on the couch and turning on the tv. It was so boring and the weather was like shit. It was raining the whole day which made me feel so moody.

„Baby let's go to bed" Aiden suggested.
„I thought we could do something else" I said as I put my hand on his cheek. We kissed passionately and a few minutes later we were in our bedroom in our underwear. He was on the top of me kissing my neck and unclipsing my bra. He placed a few kisses on my boobs before squeezing them.
„Can you please fuck me" I begged. He licked his lips slowly before taking off my panties and his own boxers.
„Oh—yes" I moaned.

-

7 months passed, Aiden and I were living together. We built a house near the beach. He didn't propose me for now but I was still happy. He was by my side and helped me with my problem. To be honest it's like that, we're living for each other and I couldn't imagine a life without him. Our music was big part in our life but he still has another job in a company.
Courtney and Ron were happy too and their baby is fine thanks god. Just nobody likes to be around Courtney because she's very moody.

„I'm home baby." I heard a yelling out the hall.
„Kitchen."
He came in placing his jacket on the chair and hugging me from behind while I was cooking.
He kissed my cheek before taking a sweet potato frie in his mouth.
„How was the day?" I asked.
„Uhm kind of boring. Nothing special happened. Did you hear something from Courtney?"
„Yeah he texted me today, she wat at the doctor and he said that everything's fine. I invited her and Ron to dinner that's why I'm cooking and why I dressed up. I would still be in my pajama and you know that." He smiled and walked upstairs to take a shower. I put the burgers and the the fries on the table and waited for Courtney and Ron. I heard a phone vibrating but it wasn't mine.

„Aiden?" I yelled angrily as he walked down the stairs.
„What does this chick want from you?" I asked showing him what she wrote.
„Oh come on it's not a big deal, she's new in the company and she's moving why shouldn't I help her?"
I crossed my arms and rolled my eyes angrily.
„You're not gonna help her. You have a girlfriend."
„Don't be so jealous Ariana" he said and smiled at me.
„I'm not jealous!" The doorbell rang and I opened the door pulling Courtney into a hug. When I looked down I saw her big stomach. I stroke over it few times before I greeted Ron with a fist bump.
I guided them into the dining room where we all sat down and ate. I gave Aiden the whole time angry and dangerous gazes but he didn't even look at me. He thinks that I'm joking but I'm not I'm so fucking jealous on this hoe. When we finished we went into the living room and watched ‚Dynasty'.

„May I talk to you in the kitchen bAbY" I pouted.
He nodded and walked with me as I grabbed a bowl with fruits.
„Don't ignore when I'm je-I mean when I'm angry."
„Baby look I'm just helping her I promise, I love you and I just want you for fucks sake don't be jealous." he replied taking a grape. I took a deep breath and nodded.
„Come on lets watch the show."

-

After two days I was waking up trying to hug Aiden but he wasn't next to me.
„Baby?" I yelled trough the whole house searching him. In the kitchen he left a note.

‚I'm at the cottage...I love you'

I didn't know what was going on that's why I put on different clothes and walked out the house. I startet my car and drove to the cottage where was sitting in the front of the sea.

„Baby what are you doing here?" I asked pulling him into a hug. I noticed his glossy eyes.
„Don't be like that what happened?"
He took a deep breath in and looked at me.
„My father died today at this place." 
„He left me as a 4 year old kid. First I didn't even realize that, I was a little boy. But as I startet to get older I realized that somebody is missing in my life."
I took his hand kissing the palm.
„He didn't left you, it was an accident."
„You know I'm afraid of having a baby. Just imagine it could losing us. Because the world is dangerous sometimes. I don't want him or her going trough things that I've been trough." he muttered making me face him.
„What does this mean?" My eyes wide opened.
„I think I don't wanna have a baby. I would love to but I'm scared."
This kind of hurt me. I thought he wanted babies with me and a family. I tried to stay calmly because this hurt really.
„Are you serious?" I asked holding back my tears.
„I-I don't know I'm just afraid but I know that you want kids and a family and everything."
Yes I want. I want it with him because I love him. Because he's my life and I want to share my happiness with him.
„I-I want." I mumbled.
„But I don't think I can give you something like that Ariana. I'm so fucking afraid I can't tell you how much."
„What is that supposed to mean?"
He inlocked our hands as a few tears left his eye.
„I don't think that I can make you happy Ariana. I would love to, I would to have a big family with you but I can't." he replied sadly. I felt my heart getting faster and faster.
„I think we shouldn't—"
„You wanna break my heart again?" I cut him off.
„It's not like that Ariana I really love you. More than anything on this world but I want you happy even if I am not the guy who can do that."
I felt my tear rolling down my face.
„B-But there are kids who have a dad. Some kids have both parents and they are happy." I stuttered.
„I know and I'm glad for them but I'm just afraid you know? Not even because of having kids. I mean I'm afraid of everything. You love me and what if I die? You would go into the psychiatry."
„But if everyone would live like you just ‚be on their own to not hurt somebody' where is the whole love in the world? I don't know when I'm gonna die either you! Nobody knows and nobody will never know. That's life. I know that one day my parents don't live anymore, and what should I do Aiden? Should I kill myself? I can't because I have you because I love you and I wanna fight for it." I tried to explained
„I saw my mother Ariana! I was maybe little but I saw her everyday crying, everyday killing her body with medicaments. She couldn't sleep she couldn't smile!" he yelled.
„But she survived it! She's happy she's smiling and she's strong! Even though he's gone she loves him more than anything in this world."
„What do you wanna do now?" I added asking.
„Maybe we should b—"
„You should have thinking about it before we startet dating! Before we moved together before everything."

„Tell me! What do you want? Do you want me and we're gonna go trough this together? Or do you wanna live alone but then remember my words, There's no way back. I don't want that somebody breaks my heart again Aiden because it fucking heart okay? I'm breaking. Don't do that to us."

-

[Hope you like this chap:)❤️I'm gonna post today a few chapters:)]