21 Questions (Ryden)

Question 19 - R

Ryan took a deep breath, mulling over his next question. Brendon was looking out the field, arms still crossed and a pout on his lips.

"Bren," Ryan started. He felt his nerves spike up. Asking was harder in person. "A-are you like." He took a deep breath that didn't calm him at all. "Are you embarrassed of me or something?"

Brendon shook his head quickly as if surprised at the question. He looked up at Ryan, thinking about the question.

"Embarassed of you?" Ryan nodded. "Why would I be embarrassed? Should I be embarrassed?" Ryan shrugged.

"I don't know. Like I know I've never came up to you in school before because it's cause I was nervous." Brendon nodded, understanding enough now. "But you never came up to me either."

"Oh. Err." Brendon bit his bottom lip for a second. "That's harder for me to do. You're never alone."

"I'm with my team," Ryan added. "Everyone knows them. They're friendly, so why would that be a problem?" Brendon took a shaky breath.

"I... I don't really like your team, so I don't even bother trying to talk to you cause you're always with some if not not all of them," Brendon slowly let out.

"What's wrong with my team?" Brendon shook his head. He felt his hands get clammy and tried not to make it obvious when he rubbed his palms over his pants. "Brendon?"

"I just haven't haven't had good experiences with them."

"What happened that made you not like them?" He shut his eyes. He dragged nails over his thighs feeling a slight burn through his jeans. "Bren?"

Brendon involuntarily flinched when Ryan placed his hand on his shoulder. He didn't realize how heavy his breathing had gotten. His eyes were opened wide. Ryan had pulled his hand away instantly, but guilt and concern was written all over his face.

"I-I'm sorry. I just-- Are you okay?" Brendon's head quickly moved to the ground. He brought a hand up to wipe his watery eyes.

"Y-yeah I'm fine," he whispered.

"Brendon." Ryan's voice sounded so soft and caring. He didn't flinch when an arm slowly wrapped around him this time. Instead, he felt himself crumbling. His inner walls were breaking. He was losing his composure, his body shaking without command. "Please talk to me."

"Calum Reed," Brendon heard himself say. He was leaning into Ryan's comforting touch, willing himself to get himself under control.

"Calum Reed?" Ryan question the name quietly to himself. "Cal? The one who graduated last year?" Brendon squeezed his eyes shut. "What did he do?" Brendon shook his head. "You can tell me. I won't judge." Brendon worked to steady his voice.

"I thought he liked me. He was a hot senior and I was an inexperienced gay boy." Brendon felt Ryan tense under him. He quickly continued before Ryan could say anything. "He would flirt with me when no one was watching. Then one day he took me to the locker room. He said no one would be in there and he would give me a surprise."

Ryan tried to keep from gripping Brendon too hard. He felt his blood begin to boil, but managed to stay almost perfectly still. Brendon brought a hand up to wipe his eye again.

"He took me into a bathroom stall and pressed me against the wall. Said to close my eyes. I was really excited because I hadn't even kissed anyone before. Next thing I knew I was getting my head shoved in a toilet and getting called a fag who needed to wash dirty thoughts out of my head.

I heard the stall open again and a bunch of voices laughing at me. I couldn't even open my eyes to see who they were. I got pushed around this circle of guys. They undressed me before shoving me to the showers. They made sure to keep the water freezing cold. And they left me there."

"Bren." Ryan's voice was soft, his heart breaking for Brendon. "I'm so sorry." His other arm came around and held tightly onto Brendon.

"Pete found me later just shaking and wet. He lent me some of his clothes and took me to his house." Ryan rubbed his hand up and down Brendon's back. Brendon let himself be held until he felt himself stop shaking. He took a deep and pulled himself out of Ryan's arms. For a moment, it felt like Ryan was resisting him pulling away but he shook it off as nothing.

"I didn't know about that." Brendon only shrugged. "Cal's gone now. You don't have to be afraid of the team." Brendon sniffed and shrugged.

"I know I just- There were other guys there and I don't if they were other seniors or they're people still on the team."

"I don't think the guy's now are capable of doing that if that helps at all. I mean Josh, Ray, Geoff. These guys wouldn't hurt you like that." Brendon took a moment to think through Ryan's teammates, some sweet, others seemingly intimidating, but Ryan's right. All human cinnamon rolls.

"Last year's seniors were total jackasses, especially Cal. Believe me, I wouldn't let anyone near you if I knew their intent is to hurt you." Brendon managed to crack a slight smile at the thought of Ryan protecting him. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," Brendon said truthfully. With Ryan there providing comfort, he'd always be okay. "I'm okay. Thank you."

"Do you feel alright enough to keep going? Cause we can stop." Brendon shook his head.

"We can keep going. I'm good." Ryan looked skeptically seeing Brendon's light red eyes. The boy flashed Ryan a reassuring smile. "I'm okay. Promise."

Ryan sighed and without thinking, he leaned forward and placed a kiss on Brendon's forehead. He forced himself not to think about it so he wouldn't overreact.

"It's your turn then." He kept himself calm as best as he could with a blush creeping up his neck. Brendon froze a second, face instantly red.

"Oh yeah. Um. Okay. Uh."

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A/N:

My little sister got her cap and gown today!! I'm so proud of her! And I didn't cry! (Does tearing up count as crying?) Anyways sorry longer chapter thanks for reading!

𝐽𝑢𝑠𝑡 𝑎 𝑟𝑒𝑚𝑖𝑛𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑖𝑚𝑝𝑜𝑟𝑡𝑎𝑚𝑡, 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒𝑑 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑡ℎ𝑦 ❤
~𝐽𝑎𝑦