The Life I never imagined (Complete)

Chapter 38

PRESENT DAY – THERAPISTS OFFICE

I was laying with my back on the couch supporting my head on the arm rest comfortably with my eyes closed. I felt so relaxed having told someone everything about my life. People weren’t lying about talking to a stranger cause it actually lifts off that burden that’s long been there.

Her: So I’m guessing that’s when things went south between you and your sister?

Me: doc, this was only two years ago and I got arrested about 6 months ago I think

Her: ok. I want us to go back on the abuse and how it affected you

Me: I think I mentioned it all in my story doc and how it affected me

Her: yes, and I heard every bit. I have to ask, had you not suffered what you suffered as a child, do you think you’d be where you are right now?

I chuckled trying to imagine life without the abuse and every other pain I ever endured and I don’t think I’d be where I am today.

Her: I’m not saying it’s good that you suffered because no child deserves what you went through but answer me honestly

Me: I guess the abuse made me stronger than I could have been without it. Doc it forced me to grow up before time and had Ester been a better mother then maybe I wouldn’t be locked up in here today

Her: you blame her for being locked up in here?

Me: it’s all her fault. Everything wrong in my life is her fault.

Her: and what about your role in all of it? I mean some things could have been avoided but you chose not to. You mentioned that so many times your friend asked you to move in with her and her family so that you wouldn’t endure what you did and you could have easily moved in with them but you chose not to

Me: so what are you saying? That I enjoyed it?

Her: no that’s not what I’m saying. What I’m saying is that sometimes we allow ourselves to be treated in a certain way when we can actually stop the treatment. Look you were a child when it all started but you let it go on for 6 years when you could have taken action. You went to a good school which has social services to handle such cases as yours and your sister

Me: A man of such power and a child from a broken home. whom would you believe between the two? Don’t you think he would have twisted the story to favour him instead of me? Doc have you ever endured abuse?

She shook her head

Me: exactly so you don’t know what you dealing with and what it does to one mentally. Don’t you think I wanted to get out of that life as soon as I could but I couldn’t. I’m not street smart and I’ve never been, I’ve always been book smart and I had one goal in mind. Obtain my matric and get out of that place and despite what you may think I made it out pretty well.

Her: And your biological mother?

Me: what about her?

Her: how are things between you and her with you here?

Me: I talk to her every day and she visits whenever she can. She’s been doing her level best to get me out of here. If it weren’t for her and Miso I don’t think, I’d have any hope of leaving this place