Tomorrow [Tsukishima Kei x Reader]

44

Tsukishima Kei's POV

It was the last day today— the last day of her funeral. Until now, I feel like I've lost my touch with reality while I bask in my denial. Even as I watched how she was placed inside the casket days ago, I still didn't want to believe.

"Tsukishima-kun, it's time." [Name]'s mother said.

I only nodded as I walked to [Name]'s white wooden bed. Beside it was a small wooden stand with a microphone.

I sighed as I faced everyone who came. Most of them were familiar faces— people I have spent most of my high school with.

I grabbed the microphone and glanced over everyone once more before starting.

"Hi. For those who don't know, I'm [Name]'s boyfriend. I have been for almost four years. During that time, [Name] never failed to tell me how much I affected her life. I think I was the one who failed in doing the same thing. 

"If not for her, I think the person I'd be right now will be someone I can't even recognize. Around her, I think I smiled more than I ever did for the past nineteen years of my life. She made me open up more and express how I feel without pushing me to do so. "

I smiled to myself and felt tears prick my eyes.

"I changed not because she told me to. I just did because I loved her. And I still do. "

I paused and took a deep breath—blinking away the tears attempting to fall. Despite doing nothing but cry for the past few days, my tears never seemed to stop coming back.

"I don't think I'll ever find this specific kind of love and understanding between each other again. We both knew that time was indefinite and we didn't know when time would stop for the two of us, so we kept treasuring every day like it would be our last. But still, while we do so, we hope for a new day tomorrow, a new day that we'll once again cherish together. "

I chuckled softly as I remembered the memory connected to what I was going to say next.

"I don't think a lot of people know, but she was the one who asked me out. She told me that she didn't want to waste time because she didn't know how much time she had the chance to waste without care. She asked me to stay with her until the time was up and I agreed, I promised her I wouldn't ever leave. After that, she kept telling me if I wanted to leave then she'd be fine with that and that I shouldn't hold on to something just because of a promise. 

"But I never thought of leaving her because, by choice, I also wanted to stay by her side until I couldn't anymore. Now, she's gone but I don't think I'm ready to continue moving forward without her."

I glanced to my side and looked at the casket. There she was, in her white dress. Sleeping peacefully— they say. 

'Looks like you're Snow White after all, [Name]. I'm sorry I can't be the Prince who wakes you up.'

I sigh once more before looking back at everyone else.

"I don't know if I'll ever be ready." 

"But, now I know that at least, she's somewhere happier. And that mere thought makes me happy as well. "

A small smile made its way to my face. For once and for a short time, my heart is light. 

I looked at her once more and said,

"[Name], I love you. You'll always have a part of my heart. And I'm glad I spent a part of my life with you. I'll never regret ever loving you. "

'Now go play volleyball as much as you can, my volleyball idiot. Nothing's stopping you now.'

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"[Name]-chan looks so pretty sleeping like that. There's something missing though," Yachi said.

"Her smile. That smile she always has on her face," Yamaguchi said. "Well, it's not like they can make her smile. That'd honestly feel a little weird if we saw her like that."

My mind suddenly went back to when we were just first years. I remember how her eyes looked so tired at one point. I don't think that was a side she ever let anyone else see.

"We're all here, [Surname]. All the teams you became manager over— from the first year to the third year. We're sorry this is the first time we've seen each other after many years," Suga-san said.

"Honestly," Daichi-san said, his voice wavering a little. "This isn't how I imagined our team's reunion, but we're here to tell you goodbye."

"Don't forget about us," Kuroo-san said, smiling sadly at [Name].

"Hey hey," Bokuto-san said. "Your ghost better say the third hey, [S/Nickname]-chan."

Beside Bokuto-san was Akaashi-san who just glanced at [Name] before looking away again. They didn't talk much but the two bonded over having the same position in the team. Whenever Karasuno met up with Fukurodani, the two would often play at least one round against each other.

"They'll lower the casket soon," Shimizu-san said.

"Wait. I still can't accept this," Tanaka-san said, tears streaming down his cheeks. "Why did this happen?!"

"Ryu," Noya-san said, placing his hand on Tanaka-san's back. He himself was crying as well. "There's nothing else we can do."

I looked at Hinata and saw him staring blankly at [Name]. I don't think he was aware, but tears were falling from his eyes too.

I only sighed. 

I don't think I can do anything else but sigh. It seems like I've used up all my tears earlier and now nothing was falling. No matter how much I wanted to, there was nothing. 

Even as they were lowering her casket to the ground, I didn't cry— I couldn't. My heart was hurting. I wanted to rip it out and bury it with her but as I thought of doing so, I can hear her voice telling me how dumb that was.

"Until we meet again," I said, dropping the white flower to her closed casket.

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"If you need someone to talk to, you can just talk to me Tsukki," Yamaguchi said, smiling at me. "I'm leaving now."

"Okay," I said.

Today was officially the start of living without her. Even in the short time of her being gone, I was already forgetting how her voice sounded like. All I knew was that it was my favorite sound— yet I was slowly forgetting it. 

"Tsukishima-san," someone said, tapping my shoulder.

I turned around and was faced with Hayato.

"Yes?"

"I think you should have this," he said, handing me a cookbook.

"Isn't this for the cafe?" I asked as I read the cover.

"Not really. We have copies for the new employees, but this one was her copy."

"Her? You mean, [Name]?"

Hayato nodded, placing the book in my hands.

"There are things there that only she knows the recipe to. Ones she wrote herself or added comments to."

"But why are you giving it to me?" I asked.

"Well, [Surname]-san once told me that if ever anything happens to her, I should give that to you."

I only looked at the book in my hands when I heard what he had said.

A sad smile appeared on my face, as my hand grazed over the cover.

'Damn it, [Name]. Even after dying, you still have gifts for me.'