Not your usual Veela mate [Chapters 39-69]

Enemies Galore [63]

Thursday, Sep. 19
H

arry swiftly made his way into the sitting room and over to his special trunk, not wanting the others to come with him. Not this time. He might be opening up to the three Slytherins, but he wasn't willing to give away all his secrets. Not yet, anyway.
He was about to climb inside when Harry came to an abrupt halt. Groaning in frustration he suddenly remembered his promise to the others. He had promised not to get into the trunk on his own, but to retrieve the item he needed he had to get into the trunk. Glowering darkly, Harry came to the conclusion that there was only one thing he could do. Turning around abruptly, Harry stomped back to the others and with forced calm asked, "Lucius, could you come with me while I get something from the bedroom?"
Lucius looked startled for a moment at the request, but then he understood and with a slight nod he followed the Elf over to the trunk.
Climbing inside, Harry hurried to the bedroom, reluctantly leaving the door behind him open after asking that Lucius wait for him outside, putting up a silencing charm to give himself some privacy. Walking over to the bed Harry placed his hand on one of the carved figures decorating the bedposts and murmured a spell in Parseltongue.
For a moment nothing happened, and then there was a soft click and part of the footboard fell away, revealing a secret compartment. Inside was several books, and Harry carefully picked one of them up, making sure it was the correct one. Holding it close to his chest, Harry closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Was he doing the right thing? Did he truly want to share the secrets hidden in this innocent looking old journal?
Reopening his eyes, Harry closed the secret safe, not paying any attention to the other things stored inside. Walking over to the bed the youth sank down onto the mattress, his mind a whirl of emotions, yet he never fully forgot about the blond waiting patiently for him. So much had happened. In three short weeks - not counting the time he had just spent at Black Manor recuperating - his entire world had been turned upside down, and it was enough to leave his mind spinning.
Who would have thought that the two people he once called his best friends would turn out to be such backstabbers? Who would have thought that Blaise and Theo were shaping up to become good friends of the Boy Who Lived? Who would have thought that Albus Dumbledore of all people would completely lose his mind, using underhanded threats and tactics to get his way?
And who would have thought that Draco, Lucius, and Severus would be the ones to stand by him unconditionally, no matter what shit was hitting the fan at the time.
Harry looked down at the journal in his lap. Slowly, he ran his fingers over the cover, taking in each crack, each imperfection in the old leather, as he pondered the secrets hidden within. He supposed that he could continue to keep the journal secret. Harry was sure he could make up some cockamamie story that would pass muster, fooling the three Slytherins.
But if he did that something would change, and it was a change he could not undo. The other three might not know that he'd lied to them, but Harry would know. And considering how much he hated it when others lied to him...
"I guess it all comes down to trust," Harry said musingly, testing the words as he spoke them. "Do I trust Draco to always love and support me? Do I trust Lucius and Severus to always be there for me, no matter what my needs are? Do I trust myself to always be there for them?
Unable to remain seated, Harry jumped to his feet and began to pace around the bedroom. "That is the real question, isn't it? What I had before, with Ron and Hermione, it was all one-way. I gave, they took, and they didn't bother much to give anything back. I guess they got so used to me always being there for them that they couldn't comprehend what happened when I no longer had anything to give them.
"But Ron and Hermione were only my friends. And I'm beginning to think that they were more important to me than I was to them," Harry added with a snort, running a hand through his hair in agitation. "Draco, Lucius, and Severus... what I could have with them is so much more than I ever had with Ron and Hermione.
"Do I trust myself to be there for them? Do I trust myself enough to give them my heart? I've always had this niggling suspicion that I wouldn't live through the end of this blasted war, and in a way I suppose I had resigned myself to that fate. Now, however, I'm suddenly faced with a future. Do I dare grasping for that future? Do I dare believe that I will remain standing when all is said and done?
"Do I dare not to take this chance?" Harry asked himself softly, staring down at the soft carpet. This is the crossroad, isn't it? he thought to himself, feeling to choked up to keep speaking his thoughts aloud. I can either allow Dumbledore to win, giving up on myself and my future. Or... I can embrace the fact that I am an Elf, who happens to have a Veela for a mate. Not only that, but with that mate comes two extremely sneaky Slytherins who are hell-bent on loving and caring for me, no matter what our personal history were.
Hell, Severus has all but apologies to me for the way he's been treating me for the past five years. His actions sure as hell have shown me that he has a heart inside those black robes, and that he is more than willing to allow me inside. Hell, I've slobbered all over him on numerous occasions and Severus has yet to hex me for it.
And Lucius has done everything within his powers to welcome me into the family and to make me feel like I belong. Do I really want to just give up on that? For all my life I've only wanted one thing; a family. Now I have a shot of getting that family, what do I do? Grab hold with both hands, ignoring the fact that they aren't exactly the family I envisioned when I was little? Or do I act like an ungrateful brat and walk away because they do not fit the future I once dreamed of?
Harry snorted to himself, realising that he had already made up his mind. "This is now. This is what is true. There is no point on holding on to a dream that probably will never come true anyway. Besides, what I have had with Draco so far outweighs my dream with so much that we no longer even are in the same galaxy.
Thinking back on the past weeks, focusing solely on the tender moments he and the blond Veela had shared, Harry found himself with a besotted smile on his face. He had known that he was falling in love with Draco, hell, he had even asked Lucius for permission to marry the boy, but Harry hadn't known,he hadn't realised that he was falling madly in love.
Love. What did he know about love? The Dursleys sure as hell hadn't loved him, and it was becoming painfully clear that Remus hadn't either. Harry swallowed hard, blinking back a few tears. Remus... It still hurt that the werewolf had dropped him like that. Harry didn't grudge him the chance of being happy, of spending his time with friends, feeling useful, but to cut off all contact like that? Even going so far as to remove the charm on Hedwig that enabled her to find the colony? That hurt. It hurt a lot.
Sirius might have loved him... but they had had such little time together... Now, afterward, Harry found himself questioning what it was he had been feeling for Sirius, and just what exactly his godfather had been feeling for him...
But with Draco... Harry broke into a tender smile. Even with the short time we've had together, I already know that he would never abandon me like that. And every time I look into his eyes... Harry suppressed a shiver as he remembered the different shades of silver the Veela's eyes could change into depending on the mood.
Draco wants me, all of me, and he has every intention of remaining by my side for the rest of my life, I have no doubts about that. He is even willing to take on the Dark Lord for me. Heck, he is even prepared to fight Dumbledore for me. If that isn't love, then I don't know what it is.
Besides, do I really need to know what love is? Isn't it enough for me to know that I want what Draco is giving me? Who cares if it is love or not? Isn't it enough for me to know that I like the feelings Draco invoke in me? Isn't it enough to know that I want to stand by him for the rest of my life, giving back the very same things he is giving me? Unconditional support, feelings of warmth and care, hell, I can't even describe to myself what it is I'm feeling about that Veela. All I know is that I want to build a future with him, that I want to settle down and have children with him. What more do I need to know anyway?
The smile on Harry's face grew until it threatened to break it in two. Suddenly he threw his head back and began to laugh. "Hah! I guess my heart knew before the rest of me did. I'm in love with Draco bloody Malfoy! And I have no wish to change that. I am happy. I am actually honest to god happy! All I have to do now is turn my brain off and follow my heart."
Clutching the journal tightly to his chest, Harry knew his mind was made up. He would share his treasures with the others, just as they had shared their secrets with him. There were still issues that needed to be talked through, but they had their whole lives to get to that.
First, they needed to deal with Dumbledore, because there was no way in hell that Harry was going to allow that old man to continue to walk all over him. And there was no way in this life that Harry was going to allow Draco to be sacrificed to that bastard's ambitions the way Lucius and Severus had been.
Nodding his head decisively, Harry took down the wards and left the bedroom intent on finding his mate. No, on finding his family. Maybe Lucius and Severus would be able to help him with some of the rituals mentioned in the journal. They, after all, had years of experience with handling magic while he was just beginning to realise what was possible. There was also the fact that Harry had barely had time to do more than scratch a little on the surface when it came to the Druids, their beliefs, and their magic. His summer had been just a tad hectic this year after all.
"Is everything all right, loveling?" Lucius asked the moment Harry stepped through the bedroom door. Due to the silencing charm he had been unable to hear anything, but the Elf's body language had been enough to tell the blond that some major decision had been made.
"I'm fine, Lucius," Harry replied with a soft smile. "I guess I just needed to get a few things straight in my mind. So much has happened lately and I guess I haven't caught up with it all yet."
"That is understandable, love. I too find myself reeling with everything that has happened, and I do not have the added distraction of being the mate to an impulsive, impatient young Veela."
Harry gave Lucius a startled look, before bursting into giggles. "He is that, isn't he?" he said once he had his breath back. "And don't think for a moment that I'm not going to tell him that the next time we have an argument," Harry added cheekily, dancing out of reach for the swat Lucius aimed at his head.