gravity ➳ muke

final: luke's note

Dear Michael,

I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry that I can't stay with you to hold you close and love you like you deserve. I'm sorry I can't take you to all places you desire to visit, and live those memories with you. I'm sorry I am not strong enough to stay with you, my love. But I am mostly sorry for being so selfish and leaving you so unexpectedly.

I never got the chance to tell you this last night, because I didn't have the heart to break it to you hours before you read this. But I love you. I love you so much it hurts. I wish I could see your face when I tell you that, and see the beautiful crimson blush spread across your face that I have grown to cherish since it's rare.

I wish this could be longer, for me to express my love for you Mikey because you deserve a whole novel, but I can't bring myself to pain you more. I'm going to the lake--as horrible as it sounds--to end my pathetic life.

I want to be enough for you, so much. But I am unable to fulfil that, because I am inadequate. Like I've told you, I want to be a pretty boy, who doesn't need to worry about how many calories is in that cookie or how many hours I need to exercise to work off the pounds I've accumulated over the week. Remember how you'd kiss my tummy and tell me how cute and pale it is, no matter what size? Because I do, and just thinking of that makes tears fall from my eyes while writing this. I apologise for the tear stains on this.

Again, I love you, Mikey. I hate to end things this way, but I just can't deal with living like this. You brought light to my life, and I wish to repay you with everything you desire as a thank you for that.

Did you know you were the reason why I began to talk again? I hadn't talked for a whole year before you came around. Thank you so much for bringing it out of me.

Thank you for giving me the best last day of my life; quite frankly it would not matter what be a perfect day as long as I spent it with you.

I hope to see you soon, my love. But not too soon, I want you to live a long and happy life, with a man or woman, and even a child or two, in a average sized suburban home because you're traditional like that. Anything to make you happy.

My only dying wish is for you to be happy.

- xx Luke

Thank you all so much for reading my story, gravity! I appreciate all of you readers so so much. Thank you for putting up with my sometimes long overdue updates and just odd story in general. It doesn't even really match the description, but oh well. To me, it didn't make much sense in general, but I hope that you all enjoyed it.

Basically, Luke was depressed and mildly had anorexia. He drowned himself in the lake after spending his final day with Michael. Then Michael decided he did not want to go on without Luke, so he committed as well; I imagined an overdose if you were wondering how. I in no way encourage this nor feel the need to glamorise such things. They are simply subjects I choose to write about because I can connect with them.

For anyone suffering from these things or others, feel free to message me anytime to talk. Cheers. :)