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Carla
I step outside my house and walk towards the pool, my thoughts and emotions mixing with each other, my heart twitching in my chest whenever he crossed my mind, grabbing one of my favorite books in hand, I walk past the pool house and stop for a bit, I stare at it and remember the warmth and peace I felt when he was with me, holding me close. I smile and play with his pendant while making my way to the sitting area under the big oak tree; I grab a seat and lose myself in the lines of every page.
As I flip the pages, I think of nothing but how unfair the world is, because even in this story, which seems so beautiful and happy at first, ends with murder and sadness. How unfair it is that the poor hero couldn't marry the love of his life because she was a girl with money. My chest tightened. That was exactly why I hated my family and what it represented.
I was empty. My feelings giving away nothing but despair and sadness. I had nothing left.
Every day I told myself I wasn't waiting on some sort of contact from Samuel, but when I crawled into bed at night, I cried myself to sleep because another day had ended without a word from him. I lost my appetite and slept a lot without feeling rested. I was in pain and nothing was vivid to me beyond that feeling of worry that throbbed through me constantly.
I focus on the lines and try to pull my thoughts away from him and everything else. I try to distract myself with someone else's pain instead of mine.
I suddenly sensed him. My whole body shivering in that intense way whenever I felt his eyes on me. I look up and find him standing at the far end of the backyard. He's wearing his school uniform which means he came straight from there. He lifts his hand and waves at me, the same way he did the other day when he snuck into the house at night.
Why is here after everything I've done?
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He walks towards me slowly, I stay unmoving in my seat, my legs trembling with fear, and hope, god I couldn't believe I still had it in me. He reaches the table and looks down at me. "What are you reading?" he asks so casually.
I stare at him, my feelings a complete mess; I honestly didn't know what to think. He looks down at my book and raises his eyebrows. I couldn't help but smile. He always knows how to deter the conversation whenever he felt I couldn't handle it. Or just didn't want to.
