Little Things

Chapter 13: Bitch Paradise

JAY'S POV

They boys were already singing their last song for the day and I was just standing at the side of the stage, looking out to the happy faces of the girls in the audience.

"Hey!"

"Oh wow you startled me there" I chuckled. "Uh.... Where's Jai?"

"I left him with Paul. Don't worry he's in good hands!"

"Yeah...."

"Can I ask you something?"

"Yeah?"

"Uh....why did you.... and Harry....-"

"Split up?" I interrupted.

"Yeah....."

I turned away from her and sighed.

"I don't like talking about this but all I can't say is that.... there were a lot of issues between us.... You may want to ask him if you want to know more"

"Do you still love him?"

"What?"I chuckled. "I have a boyfriend El"

"Come on. I'm a girl too. Do you really love Lou?"

"Uh.... Yeah course"

"Oh"

I flashed her a small smile. "Excuse me" I walked away from her and went outside I take a breather.

I don't know why I just feel like screaming right now. I just want to cry and cry and cry and just be all alone.

I leaned against the wall and let my back slide down till I hit the floor with a thud.

I looked up to the sky and tried to let the tears fall back in my eyes.

Stars. Stars filled the night sky.

Mommy always said that when people closest to your heart die, they become stars and look after us. Isha is a star. She's definitely the most brightest star.

"Isha I need you here with me" The words came out as whisper.

"Tonight I've fallen and I can't get up. I need your loving hands to come and pick me up. And every night I miss you, I can just look up and know the stars are holding you tonight"

I've been doing this a lot lately.

Reminiscing and hurting myself.

They say I need to move on. How can I?

"Jay?"

Shit.

I wiped my tears with the back of my hand and squint my eyes at the figure.

There wasn't any lights so I had to make out who it was through their silhouette.

"Hey" I croaked.

He stood beside me and slid down as well till he was sat just beside me.

Our skins were touching and I could feel the sweat on his skin even though the weather was chilly like crazy.

"What're you doing out here?" He asked as he stared into the sky and put his arms around my shoulder.

"Just... thinking" I leaned my head against his shoulder and moved closer as he was really warm.

"You were crying"

"Way to go captain obvious" I chuckled.

He chuckled along with me and then stopped abruptly. I felt his head turn and look at me. But I just kept my head up, looking at the sky.

"Why?"

"Everything's just wrong Zayn" I replied as my lips started quivering again.

It was either the cold or my crying.

Or maybe both.

"Hey hey.....calm down babe" he started rubbing circles on my back.

"Tell me what's wrong"

"Everything. From Isha to Louis. I don't know Zayn it's just so hard to cope." I stopped and let out a sigh." Louis asked me to be his girlfriend and I said yes but now I'm regretting it and-"

"Do you love him?" Zayn interrupted.

"I..... No."

"Do you love Harry?"

"No"

"Are you sure?"

"I don't- yeah sure"

"Then why did you say yes to Louis when you don't love him?"

"I just thought it would be good to have Louis so he can be a father, like a real father to Jai and you know, everything will just be ok. And I just didn't want to hurt him."

"He really loves you"

"I know.. That's why I said yes"

"Are you planning to break up with him then?"

"I don't know...." I answered slowly.

"Zayn I-"

Shit.

I looked up and stared hard at the figure.

"Lou?"

This is when I feel that I just want to run away from it all.

Life is just a total hell.

Zayn's head immediately perked up and his hands were instantly pulled away from me.

"You were...using me?"

"Lou come on please-"

"WHAT?!"

My eyes widened. Startled by his outburst.

"I'll leave you both to it.." Zayn mumbled before walking into the building hurriedly.

"WHY?!"

"Lou I didn't want to hurt you!" I replied as more tears fell and I pushed myself off the ground.

"But you did,didn't you?! Fucking bitch!"

"You don't have to be so rude! Jesus Christ! I thought you were different!" I raised my voice as I tried to contain my anger.

"Well it is the truth! You go around hopping from one guy to another!"

"So that's it? That's why you think of me? A sluggy girl?"

"You're worst than a sluggy girl"

"Thanks" I looked up to try and stop the tears. "Just.... Thank you. Lovely choice of words"

And with that I walked away.

Not inside the building. But away from it.

I don't care anymore.

I couldn't care less.

My son has Harry and the other lads. If he needs a mother, then El can take my place.

Everyone takes my place. I'm not needed anymore.

I'm a bitch ain't I.

Bitches are heartless.

Then, so am I.

_______________________

I didn't proof read this so sorry if there's any mistake. I'm just feeling really down. I've just recently discovered my feelings for this boy and I really really do fancy him. But I found out today that he's going out with another girl.

I'm just, shattered.

I'll like to take some time off. I'm sorry.

Hope you like the chapter.