𝐃𝐀𝐘𝐃𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐆 | ᵏⁱᵐᵉᵗˢᵘ ⁿᵒ ʸᵃⁱᵇᵃ

006 good enough | sanemi

𝙧𝙚𝙦𝙪𝙚𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙙

pillar!fem!reader

✯¸.•'*¨'*•✿ ✿•*'¨*'•.¸✯

IT WAS NO USE,

    NO MATTER HOW MANY times she swept away the tears cascading down her stained cheeks, they kept on coming. alone in the dim, shaded room lied [name], curled up in a ball of her own despair.

'why wasn't i fast enough?'

the never-ending tears wouldn't leave her alone. the memories from the night before came flooding through her brain, images she wishes she could forget.

'why couldn't i save him?'

she could still hear his desperate cries, echoing throughout the village. bones cracking and snapping in places it shouldn't be. his flesh being savagely eaten by the wretched being she sought to destroy.

'why did i just watch?'

the poor boy couldn't have been older than ten, dying in a way his father would tell him scary stories before bedtime. a being more than half of the population doesn't believe in.

she remembers feeling the panic and distress racking her body, frozen in fear. she remembers his cold dull eyes boring into her still ones, the life being sucked out of him by the vicious creature.

'make it stop, please.'

clutching her head in her trembling hands, she unintentionally ripped a considerable chunk of hair out from her scalp. she winced, glaring at the h/c lump in her hands. rubbing her glassy e/c eyes with her free hand, she stood up from her previous sulking position and made her way to her bathroom.

upon reaching the small room, she trashed her broken h/c ends in the bin and exhaled a shaky sigh. peering overhead to her window, [name] judged the current time was around 11 p.m., given how the lonely moon illustrated her remaining light over the rather confined room.

reaching for her worn oil lamp, she ignited a fresh match and observed how the single flame erupted in its own dance in the miniature glass case.

from the newfound light, [name] could now properly evaluate her saddened state. swollen pink eyes from constant rubbing, deep dark circles, stained cheeks a permanent red, it was no wonder oyakata-sama allowed her the night off.

sighing, she turned on her faucet and welcomed the cool water onto her tear-stained face. she liked to believe the water would cleanse her of her cowardice actions from the previous night, but she knew it wasn't possible.

glancing back up towards the mirror, she scoffed at herself. 'how can i call myself a hashira if i watched that young boy being eaten like that?' shaking her head, she buried her face in her hands to hide her shame. 'i'm supposed to be strong,' it was times like these where the woman would desperately give her all to be like her friend kyoujurou, someone who never let a citizen die at the hands of a bloodthirsty demon. or like her close friend sanemi, someone who is ruthless and gets the job done.

inhaling a deep breath through her nose, she blew the sole flame out and left the room. grabbing her haori, she laid it over her shoulders and made her way out the sliding door.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ｡. ───

[name] was embraced by the incandescent full moon, illuminating the narrow path ahead of her. opposite of the sun, the moon's faint streams gave the young woman a sense of tranquility. the hashira deduced this was a perfect way to clear her gloomy mind, a peaceful walk underneath the dark rays and twinkling stars.