Six Turns Into One

Drift

WARNING: SUICIDE AND SUICIDAL THOUGHTS

It has been a month since they lost Katherine to an eating disorder. The guilt they all felt was unbearable, they all watched Katherine succumb into her own self-hatred. Jane found her diary, and it was filled with nothing but words of hatred directed towards herself and her body. It was followed by the horrid routine Katherine had, it was too much for Jane, and she soon couldn't take it and locked herself in her room for the rest of the day.

The girls haven't been the same either. Cleve's hasn't been herself, it's been a long time since she's laughed. Katherine was always the one who brought laughter and joy. The two have been best friends since they were in elementary, it hurt Cleve's so bad. She didn't tell the other girls on how badly it was affecting her, so bad to the point where she wished she was with Katherine. She didn't want to bring more stress into their lives.

She missed everything about Katherine. Her eyes, her smile, her laugh, her voice, and the way she sings and dances..Cleve's hated it so bad. She hated knowing that she never got to see the happiness in Katherine's eyes, she never got to see the genuine smile she used to have, the adorable laugh, and her powerful voice and graceful dance moves. She hated she never got to see it again before she left them.

Cleve's hated how she couldn't say goodbye to Katherine, she hated how she couldn't say something to Katherine. She hated herself for not noticing.

She just wanted to be with Katherine, more than anything. She wished to feel her touch again, to be in her warm embrace. She didn't want to, but she had to. She wanted to stop the never ending pain she feels the moment she wakes up, and the moment she closes her eyes.

Anna just wanted all the pain and guilt she felt to go away. She needed to be with Katherine. Tears fell from her eyes as she clutched onto a picture of her and Katherine a year before she started this obsession. She looked so happy. A smile so genuine, and a body that was healthy.

Her hands trembled as she remembered seeing Katherine's body. Triggering one of the worst memories she's ever had. The paramedic lifted up Katherine's baggy shirt, only to reveal nothing but bones, you could count her ribs and she looked so extremely frail.

Anna cried harder, covering her mouth to muffle her sobs. She hated that memory so much. But it kept replaying in her head, reminding her that Katherine had been suffering so much and she didn't notice. She couldn't notice the pain her friend has felt throughout the past months.

She was pronounced dead long before the ambulance arrived, they couldn't revive her. It was far too late...

Anna hated this feeling. She wanted the pain to stop. She wanted it to stop so badly. So so badly. The pain in her heart, and the throbbing in her head was too much to handle. Her entire body trembled as she sobbed. She wanted Katherine. She needed Katherine. Without her, she didn't know what to do. Katherine was the only person who made her feel whole.

‘ If I die...I'll finally be with Katherine. ’

‘ When I die..the pain will stop. ’

‘ It'll be okay when I die. ’

‘ everyone will be fine when I die...’

The pain will stop.

Anna repeated that in her head over and over, she'll finally be happy. She'll be with Katherine again. They'll reunite.

A smile peered on her face, tears still streaming down. When she died, the pain will go away. It'll all go away. Forever. She'll finally be happy. She'll be happy again.