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"Maybe you should stop being so negative and look at the bright side." the boy suggested.
Jeongguk almost laughed at his words.
"And what's there on the bright side? butterflies and rainbows?" he questioned him in a mocking tone.
but the boy simply smiled at his harsh words and said, "There's life on the bright side. life that attracts life, that makes you want to run in a field filled with sunflowers and daisies...the kind of life that makes you feel alive."
Jeongguk quirked an eyebrow at his remark before questioning. "And have you ever been on that side?"
"Well let's just say I am trying." He answered.
Jeongguk didnt know what trying really felt like cause we humans set goals in our lives and once we reached those goals our life becomes meaningless because we have nothing to look forward to.
"My thoughts are mine to hold and I'm cursed with having to live with them. I sleep with the TV on cause I need noises to fill the silence that lurks around me and if I don't fill the empty space with statistics of nosises then the thoughts inside my head will start screaming and l can't be left alone with those voices inside of me. that's why I always have to rely on music and writing to take my mind ofd them." after finishing his rant Jeongguk heard the sharp intake of a breath.
Drowning in sentences and living in music, that's all he had ever done.
"what do they say? the voices inside your head." the boy questioned him.
Jeongguk smiled bitterly before saying..."they tell me that I can never be enough, I have already fallen into a pit and no matter how many ladders I climb somehow I'll always end up falling deeper and deeper into the millions of galaxies inside my mind and time to time there are eruptions taking place, they are so loud that I have to distract myself from hearing them otherwise the outcome won't be good. I dont believe in religions and science but I do believe in god and someday when I'll be in his court of justice I'll just ask him one thing."
"and what is that?"
"I'll ask him where do broken souls like me go when there's no place for us to call it home."
