𝓲 𝓫𝓾𝓲𝓵𝓽 𝓪 𝓯𝓻𝓲𝓮𝓷𝓭

𝓬𝓱𝓪𝓹𝓽𝓮𝓻 𝓽𝓱𝓻𝓮𝓮.

"I was shopping and just ran into you. What a coincidence. Why didn't you tell us you were going out tonight, Kil? You know mom is going to be worried." Illumi laid his head to the right, his expression stone cold and still keeping eye contact with his younger brother.

Killua felt like time froze. Nothing around them mattered anymore. Not the people walking next to them, not Kurapika or Leorio. Not even Gon. It was only Illumi's stare. He felt it drilling through his being, deep into his soul. He feared Illumi.

"I-It was a spontaneous decision." Killua, still tensed up, tried to answer as casually as possible in this situation. The atmosphere around the two brothers was so heavy, Kurapika swore he could physically see it.

"Well anyway, what brings you here with these people?" No one could even sense what Illumi was feeling, let alone read his blank facial expression.

"We went to a café to eat something after school." Finally Gon felt like Killua gathered some strength to speak up against his brother, which Killua really didn't have. His fists were clenched in frustration but still trembling and his stomach sank and twisted.

Illumi's expression did not change but his aura felt even more manipulative. When he finally spoke, Killua started nervously sweating. His eyes seemed like they were twitching but he did not blink.

"Why?", Illumi asked calmly.

Why... That's right, why did Killua come with Gon today? Why would he want to meet Kurapika and Leorio? Was there even a reason for his behaviour? Why did he become friends with Gon in the first place?

Exactly, why?

Illumi was right. There was no reason. He never wanted to be like this. Depending on others was never something Killua could have even imagined to do. So why was he doing this? Why was he showing such a vulnerable side to Gon?

Gon.

His light. He was the one who pulled him out of the dark abyss that was his mind. And the only thing he had to do to open Killua's heart was be his friend. Yes, his friend. Gon was his friend. That is why he is here on this day. Without Gon, he wouldn't have survived much longer. He did this all to be Gons friend!

Killua felt his eyes burn and sting slightly. "Because I wanted to go out with friends. Yeah, these are my friends." Gon thought Killua sounded like he was still trying to convince himself of that fact. He couldn't help but feel sorry for the silver-haired boy.

"No, they aren't. And you know it. You can't have friends. You will only want to hurt them at the end. You aren't cut out to be a good friend. You're just a puppet that has no feelings of needs or wishes. That is just how you were raised."

"You're wrong!" Killuas whole body was trembling now. These were the only words replaying in his head. "You're wrong..."

"I'm right, and you know it."

Gon could not believe what Illumi just said. Is this what Killua had to listen to his whole life? And Illumi did not even look like he felt sorry for what he said, which means he seriously meant it. Killua looked so helpless, like a turtle on it's back, revealing his most vulnerable parts. The thoughts crossing Gon's head make his knees feel weak. What did his family do to him? If they had been telling him things like these his whole life, it was no wonder Killua behaved rather strangely. It had took the words out of his mouth to think about how much Killua must hurt on the inside. He was brainwashed and manipulated into believing something like that by the people he was supposed to trust and rely on the most.

"No! No, you're not. I want to..." Killua took a deep breath in order to calm himself down slightly, but failed when he glanced over to his three friends. Their micture of a worried, terrified and angry expression shook Killua to his core. They were all people he just met, so why would they look at him like that? He knew that Illumi would not approve of him if he explained his thoughts calmly, if he even would at all. He had to let it out.

"I want to be Gon's friend!" Killua had enough of this. He did not want to be like Illumi. Ruthless and cold. He couldn't and wouldn't let people like his family control him anymore. And to move on, he did not want to look at Illumi another second. It would only get to his head. So without another word he started running. He did not know where his feet would take him, he just needed to get away for now.

He wanted friends. Someone who would listen and he could open up to about his problem. He needed Gon when he didn't even know him. And now he had him, and not only him. Leorio and Kurapika too. And he swore he would not lose them. Ever.

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So, this is trash. It was hard to write and it didn't turn out good I'm sorry. But the next chapter is coming soon