𝓲 𝓫𝓾𝓲𝓵𝓽 𝓪 𝓯𝓻𝓲𝓮𝓷𝓭

𝓬𝓱𝓪𝓹𝓽𝓮𝓻 𝓼𝓮𝓿𝓮𝓷.

First off, hey. This took really long to write because I just couldn't really get into it but oh well I tried and sorry for any typos :/

Anyway, "enjoy"

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It was Thurday afternoon. Killua was trotting home, but taking a stroll through the city to kill time first. He knew that his brother, Milluki, would come back hone from a five day game and anime convention today, if he wasn't home already. The family would be complete, which made Killua phisically sick. He remembered the few other times they were all gathered in one place. And none of them were good memories.

For example, on christmas evening three years ago, they talked like a 'normal family' would, but Killua knew better, almost suffocating by the tension created. He felt scared, but was never able to show it. Only after, when he left them, heading to his room, he finally took a deep breath that didn't feel like he was breathing, just to show he was surviving. It was a concious, deep sigh which felt like boulders dropping off of his shoulders.

And he really didn't feel like reliving that again.

Thankfully, Killua couldn't sink deeper into repressed memories.

"Ah- Yes, hello?" He stuttered into the phone.

"Heyo Kil! Kurapika 'nd I wanted to ask 'f you're free to meet right now?"

"Ah of cour-" Killua cut himself off before finishing his sentence while Leorio just waited on the other line for a second until Kurapika grabbed the phone out of his friends hand.

"It wont take long, we just want to talk about something."

Now Killua's heart began to race. He despised that phrase. About what? Why is it that people that say this can never tell someone on the spot and always have to meet.

"Killua?"

"Oh sorry! Sure, at the café?"

"Of course, now that they fired Hisoka, we are safe."

"Hahah... Alright, I'll get going now, see you two in... 15 minutes?"

"Yes. See you then."

Killua didn't know if avoiding his family was the right decision, but it was definitely the one, where he was going to get less hurt.

"Haaahh, that was good! If I knew that the cake would taste this delicious, I would've bought it earlier!" Leorio sighed in satisfaction. Kurapika just quietly agreed.

Killua still waited for Kurapika to bring up what he wanted to talk to him about, but he didn't want to mention it himself, in case Kurapika and Leorio forgot they wanted to say something important.

"Killua."

"Yup?!" He immediately answered, wondering what was about to come.

"There is something we need to ask you."

"Yes, you mentioned that earlier..." He tried to calm himself down.

"Do you have a crush on Gon?"

A shockwave flowed through his body as he listened to Kurapika finish his sentence. Nervous sweat dripped from his nose as the heat quickly rose to his ears and cheeks. "Any question...! It could have been any other question! If I say it out loud, it's gonna be so embarassing...!" He thought.

"What? No! That's ridiculous! I'm not gay!" Killua yelled, putting on a mask of disbelieve.

"So you do..." said Leorio, who almosted sounded like he though out loud.

"I..." He didn't dare to finish the sentence. He wanted to deal with his feelings by himself. They were never supposed to find out. The silver-haired boy panicked silently, like a turtle on it's back. He felt helpless and exposed to all kinds of danger but couldn't run.

Kurapika and Leorio share glances and nodded, as if they agreed on something.

"I know it's tough but... don't confess to him... Gon is straight."

Killua flinched after Leorio's statement as his vision became slightly blurred.

"Fully straight."

Killua knew that. He knew it, and yet, the tiniest flame of hope sparked in the back of his mind whenever they talked to each other. The little "hints" Gon gave Killua sometimes, like stares and his choice of words that would always make Killua flush a deep red all turned out to be wishful thinking and are now just crushed hopes.

"I wasn't planning on ever confessing... But I still want him to know..."

Leorio and Kurapika just quietly and calmly listened to him.

"I can't even deal with this feeling myself and then to tell Gon? No... I wouldn't want to be an even bigger burden."

The frustration, which was clearly audible in their friends voice, left Leorio speechless. He never had any idea what was going on between the the two younger boys. It was Kurapika who had asked him to come as support. He glanced at his blonde friend, who looked very concentrated. Like he was fishing for comforting words in his mind to tell the silver-haired high schooler.

"Killua, you were and will never be a burden. We are all friends, so please don't feel bad about opening up to us. You can talk to us about anything that is bothering you. And just so you know, Gon was worried about you too. He came to me and asked if I knew why you acted so... distant recently, if there was something bothering you. That's how I realized your feelings for Gon, because you didn't really act like Gon explained it around us. Though, since you two are so close, he notices things we don't. That is why I came to ask you personally. So Killua, please listen to me. You are very important to us, and especially Gon. Don't be afraid to talk to us, please."

Killua sat in silence, listening to all the things Kurapika just told, grabbing onto the end of his hoodie with the words stuck between his teeth the only sound he let out was a muffled hiccup. The weight crushing his heart into even smaller pieces disctracted him from noticing the tears streaming down his cheeks. Only when they hit the back of his hands did he actually look up to his friends for comfort.

Kurapika flinched back in suprise as he shared stares between the now fully sobbing Killua and the just as puzzled Leorio. But unlike Kurapika, Leorio almost immediately leaped to Killua and embraced him in his arms and signaled their blonde friend to do the same.

Reluctantly, Kurapika stepped forward and hugged the smaller boy, patting him on the head. He was just trying to say words of comfort in a confusing time for Killua and didn't quite understand why exactly he was crying.

Until he, if it were possible, heard Killua smile through his tears. Kurapika and Leorio gently backed away to watch Killua wipe the tears from his red cheeks and slightly swollrn eyes.

"Thank you guys... This means... alot to me..."

It broke Leorio's heart seeing his friend in a state like such, but he knew that if they stay together and support each other, they will get through it.

As friends.

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Alright, I have prepared the last chapters now and it may take a little longer to write them, even longer than this soooo I apologize in advance :((

Btw if you have any suggestions for a new fanfiction (literally anything, I can tell you if I know that franchise) I'll try to write it. If not (which I'm expecting), I have a few ideas prepared so.

Also, again, please go sign petitions and donate if you can. Yemen is facing the largest humanitarian crisis in the world and they need all the help they can get, even if its 'just' a petition.

Anyways, thanks for reading!