Yearn

Chapter Five

Dear Diary,
I don't know what happened today. Everything was going great when I suddenly got a shit storm of a headache and my nose started bleeding. Luckily I feel fine now. I also managed to get the blood out of my clothes. Thank god for that. Anyways, I made a new friend I think. Actually, I don't think she sees me as a friend. Her name is Sydney. She's kind of odd, but hey. I'm not one to judge.

At the skating rink I slow danced with Stan. It was nice.

I pause, looking up from my diary. I narrow my eyes before widening them and scribble in the journal.

HOLY SHIT. STAN WAS GOING TO CONFESS TO ME.

I toss the journal to the side and grab one of my pillows, mushing my face into it and scream. I squirm along with the high pitched sound coming from my throat, my face probably as red as the devil. I can't help the goofy grin on my face as I continue to awkwardly kick my legs around in glee. I soon settle down and fall back onto the bed, clutching the pillow to my chest. I continue to smile up at my ceiling, my heart pounding. I pant a little from the scream.

As if on que, my window slides open. I'm quick to flip onto my stomach, seeing Stan climb through my window. My heart only picks up the pace and my face starts hurt from smiling so widely.

Stan stumbles in, more graceful then previously, and looks at me. He raises an eyebrow, his awkward smile on his face. "You're happy to see me." I only giggle and shake my head, getting up onto my knees and sit on the heels of my feet.

"How was bowling?" I ask, playing it off cool. He shrugs but his smile remains and he blushes a bit. Oh.

"It was alright. Fun." He pauses as he sits across from me on the bed, outstretching his legs so that his feet are on either side of me. "Syd... Sydney tried to kiss me."

(Out of character, I know. I apologize.)

My eyebrows shoot up and my heart falters drastically. "Did you... did you actually kiss or-" Stan shakes his head.

"No no. I, uh, I dodged it." I would have snorted at this, but his face spoke that he was ashamed. I scoot forward, my smile wiped away and replaced with concern. He shrugs again. "I don't know why..."

There's a pause and I decide to be risky. "Is it..." I purse my lips, deciding to ask it differently. "Did it have anything to do with what you were going to say earlier? At the rink?" His eyebrows raise this time, his cheeks once again flushed. Maybe asking that was a bad idea. I open my mouth to speak but he starts off again, looking down at the bed cover.

"I was hoping at first you wouldn't remember that." He says with a weak chuckle. He pulls his legs to him, getting on his knees and scoots forward, leaning his face a bit closer to mine. My heart is once again spiking. Was this really about to happen? "But I'm glad you do." His eye lids lower half way as he examines my expression. I can feel his breath on my lips now. My head is spinning. "Y/n..." His voice drops to a lower tone. Oh my god, is it hot in here or is it just me? This got steamy real quick. "I-" He's interrupted by a knock on the door.

I throw my head back, my soul crashing to the bitter pits of me. "You've got to be kidding!" I cry out, startling Stan. I point at him. "You stay here. This isn't over." I climb off of the bed reluctantly, storming out of my room and to the front door. I swing the door open and I'm taken aback, my anger dissipating within a second. "Sydney?"

Sydney stands there, seeming startled that I answered the door. Why wouldn't I? She knocked on it.

"Y/n, is Stan here?" I purse my lips. In seconds I have a whole debate.

Tell her no. She can't have him. I know what you're up to, skank.

Well, that was rude as fuck. She's not a skank, Y/n. Get yourself together, man.

I've been dying over Stanley Barber for years. I'm not going to lose it now.

Oh, fuck off. Invite the gal in.

I put on a smile. "Yeah, he's here." I step to the side and gesture for her to come in. "Come right on in. I'll go grab him." I shut the door and bustle to my room.

"Is Syd here?" Stan asks the moment he sees me. He seems to be just as confused as me. Why are we confused? No idea. Wait... how'd she know that I live here?

So many thoughts are running through my mind. It isn't quiet.

I nod. "Yeah." I jerk my head towards the living room. "She wants to see you." He nods and stands up quickly, following me out of the room. Man, I really hate this.

Sydney looks up from a framed photo of my parents and I when we enter the room. "Hey, Stan." She says with a small smile. Wow, you don't see that often. Stan returns the smile.

"Hey, Syd." It gets awfully quiet. Awkward. I stick my hands into my pockets, rocking back and forth on my feet. Stan clears his throat. "So, uh, what are you doing here?" Good start, good start. "How'd you know where Y/n lives?" Better start, better start. I look over at Sydney with a raised eyebrow. Do not tell me she-

"Uhm, I..." Oh she did. She totally followed him. "I was walking on the side walk when I saw you climb into her house." Mm, definitely not suspicious at all. I glance at Stan, surprised to see his mouth a straight line instead of a smile. "But.. I wanted to talk to you." Sydney glances at me. "... Privately." My expression matches Stan's, my lips pressing into a thin line.

"Well, fuck. Guess this isn't my house anymore." I pat Stan's back once, a bit roughly and much like a bro. "You kids have fun." I spin on my heel and hurry back to my room, shutting the door. I don't hesitate to press my ear against the door. Stan speaks loud enough for me to hear. Maybe he wants me to hear. Sydney is a bit harder to hear.

"So, what do you want to talk about?" Stan asks after clearing his throat.

"Stan, I... you." Her volume changes throughout the sentence but I'm damn near positive she confessed to him.

"Sydney, I don't know what to say-"

"Stanley, please, I...." Her voice starts off desperate but lowers to where I can't hear. "Will you be..." Her voice trails off.

My heart spikes. Oh my god, she just asked him out. I squeeze my eyes shut, balling hands into fists against the door. Please say no! Please say no! Please sa-

"I will." I eyes snap open and in almost an instant tears swell up. I feel frozen. I feel utterly destroyed. What had happened to the Stan from earlier? Before this bitch- no, Y/n. She's not a bitch for liking Stan. I cover my mouth right before a sob escapes my lips, my tears running now.

A few more words are exchanged, ones I can't process in my head at the moment, before Sydney takes her leave. Almost as soon as the front door shuts I hear rushing footsteps getting closer. In a panicked instant, I lock my bed room door. Not a moment later the door handle jiggles as Stan desperately tries to open it.

"Y/n! Let me in!" He himself sounds panicked.

"Go the fuck away!" I want to see him. I act upon my thoughts, unlocking the door and opening it. He opens his mouth to speak but flinches upon seeing me, his surprise out there in the open. "What the fuck, Stan?!" I shout, throwing my hands out dramatically, taking a step towards him. "Were you just playing with me?!" No, he definitely wasn't, but it felt like it. "Am I a joke to you?!" Wow, my mouth just isn't agreeing with my mind. But oh well. I felt hurt. The moment I've been waiting for for-fucking-ever was about to happen and he throws it out the window?!

"Y/n-"

"GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE!" I must've scared him because he doesn't hesitate to turn tail and run, making sure to close the door behind him as he leaves the house. I collapse onto the floor, burying my face in my hands as I weep. "You stupid bitch..."

This chapter is utter shit but like... it can happen that fast, trust me.