Yearn

Chapter Seven

Dear diary,

Soooo, Stanley showed up to my house...

And we kissed...

Okay okay, here's how it went since you asked.

So, I was being all sad and shit when Stan suddenly showed up and we had a whole crying fest, and when we looked at each other, I went in and kissed him like a bad ass, and then he kissed back and it was a whole thing. Then we talked and he said he was going to break up with Sydney because he technically cheated on her and that's not cool and he doesn't like her like that anyways so it only makessensethathebreaksupwithherandim just S C R E A M I N G .

I'm not even lying. I put down my pen and grab my pillow, pressing it to my face and scream. This pillow has been abused three times today. Hopefully only three times as now it's getting dark.

I can't help but to smile. But also, I feel bad for Sydney. I just can't choose how I feel about her, huh? But really, Stanley is choosing me. That's an incredible feeling. It feels like a dream, like I'm having an out of body experience. I swear to god if this is a dream, I'll never be able to look at Stan the same way.

I sigh and roll onto my back, reaching out and pick my phone up from the bed. I unlock it, smiling at the picture and giggle uncontrollably. Gosh d a r n . He's really doing things to me. I go to my music and scroll through it. Before playing a song, I sit up and lean over to the night stand, opening its drawer and take out my headphones. I plug them in and lay back down, tapping on the song Could Have Been Me by The Struts.

And almost instantly, I feel the energy running through me. I get up from my bed quickly and start dancing gracefully.

"Don't want to live as an untold story-" I sing along, a glowing smile on my face. I make it out of my room, my feet moving fast and my arms whisping around. I stamp my foot on the ground, pulling my fists to my sides and throw my head back.

"I can't hear you! I don't fear you!" My feet move suddenly in quick rhythm and I slide on the hardwood floor to the beat. If any song can get me in a good mood, it's this one.

"It could've been me! YA!" I jump onto the couch, throwing my head back again. I sing along loudly, stepping off of the arm of the couch and move my feet carefully, speeding up with the music. I jump off of the couch, landing hard.

"I want to taste love and pain!" And although I show nothing but confidence and happiness, I feel that guilt in the back of my heart. The sadness for Sydney. And then, the doubt takes over.

What if Stan backs out?

And almost instantly I knock the idea out of the park. No! I can't be thinking negatively! I've been going back and forth through my emotions like a fucking ping pong ball. And that's not what I want! I need to choose what makes me happy. For years I had been a people pleaser, I will not go back to those ways. I deserve to be happy.

I start heading to the kitchen, The Love Club by Lorde saying in my ears now, only to hear a brief, almost hesitant knock on my door. My heart leaps into my throat. Maybe it's Stan!

I don't spare a second to rush to the door with a smile. But my smile quickly disappears, my once love filled heart now enveloping in fear. The sky is grey, the clouds furling angrily. And right in front of me is a heart broken, angry Sydney. I take an expastered step back, which she uses to her advantage and steps in, slamming the door shut behind her. Almost instantly I know I need to get out and away from her.

"You." She hisses, poison dripping off of her tongue. "You're the problem."

"Syd, what are-"

"DONT CALL ME THAT." She booms, the power going off with a loud rumble. I'm shaking now, still backing away from her. Cracks are starting to show in the walls. My parents are going to be pissed. Tears swell in my eyes and my heart beats rapidly. How is she doing all of this?

Your nose is bleeding!

Had... Did Sydney cause that?

"Not even a full day!" She starts again. "We didn't even date for a whole day before he broke up with me for you!" Again, poison is in her mouth when referring to me.

"Sydney, I-I'm sorry! It's not my fault!" It's not. None of this is my fault.

"SHUT YOUR DAMN MOUTH." Alright, I think it's time to leave. I make a mad dash past her, and try opening the door but it appears to be stuck. I whirl around to see her angrily coming towards me. My breath hitches and I dart right, into the living room. She's quick to follow me. I weave around the coffee table and leap over the couch, going into my room and slam the door shut. I make sure to lock the door before going to the window and start to climb out. I start to pull my phone out with shaking hands and dial Stan's number, running down the sidewalk.

"Y/N!" Sydney booms. I scream and run faster, my tears freely flowing now. I look over my shoulder to see Sydney running after me, but she seems to be struggling.

"Y/n?" Stan's voice comes from the phone and I let out a sob. "Y/n, are you okay? What's going on?"

"Open your door, Stan!" I shout, his house coming into view. I can hear him quickly getting up from wherever and with a few steps, his front door opens. I look over my shoulder to see Sydney also crying and she's gotten closer. But not close enough.

I make it to Stan's house, putting my phone into my pocket. I shove him inside and lock the door before pulling him to this room. I shut that door and lock it before dragging him to the closet. I shut us in and crouch down, listening. I'm heaving and feel like throwing up, my hands and legs shaking. Pain is slowly starting to seep into my tired legs, which are now starting to strain from simply crouching.

I hear a knock on the front door and gasp, covering my mouth as if she were in the house. Stan goes to open the closet but I quickly grab him and pull him down, shaking my head.

"Stan? Can I come in?" Sydney calls from the front door, her voice shaking.

"Y/n, I need to let her in. It's storming outside." I didn't even notice that it was raining. My clothes are damp and the moisture on my skin is mixing with my sweat.

"You can't, Stan!" I whisper quietly. "She's crazy!" I start hyperventilating, my shaking worsening. "She-she..." I start to break down again. Did I even see everything right? It happened so fast.

Stan seemed to notice my anxiety (I mean, how could he not?) and nods, instead sits with me and puts his arm around me quietly, letting me sob into his shoulder.

About half an hour later, we carefully exit, me on edge. I can't help but to look around franticly, as of she'll jump out at any moment.

"Tell me what happened, Y/n."

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Well, howdy! I want to apologize real quick for not updating. Shit has been crazy! Like, whew! When will it end? But yeah, sorry for the wild chapter. Hopefully I'll get back into the swing of things. ✌️