im yer dad:0

16//its going

it's been about a month and we are all doing fine. well everyone except me. Tracey and Bexey are still the same, Rose and Tracy are finally dating. Jose is now dating shadow. Peep is still dating arzaylea, and I'm still well... single and depressed.

my depression gotten worse. not because of anything or anyone, I was just diagnosed and my past has came back to haunt me. I have always been scared to tell people more of my past, Jose only knows and he pretends he doesn't because it is disgusting. my real dad, raped me, and almost killed me with a gun, but I shot and killed him. more has happened in the past but I don't want to bring it up.

we basically live together us and GBC. everyone is happy and doing well. peep has stopped being flirty with me, I guess he has found the one.

Currently it is 4 in the morning and I haven't slept at all. and I am sitting on the roof watching the sunrise. watching the sunrise really made me think about my life and where I've come. And I start bawling. I pull the blanket I brought over my legs as the tears roll down my cheeks. I feel a presence next to me and I see Gus climbing next to me up. ad stares at me. And he hugs me.

"mols what's wrong" he asked and I shake my head no.

"ok but why are you up so early?" He asked

"you mean why am I up so late" I said looking down

Then I feel my self get picked up.

"Gus put me downnn" I sniffled

"no you are going to bed" he said climbing ya through the window.

He set me down in the bed and I tried to get up again.

"Gus I'm not tired, go cuddle with Arzaylea or some shit, just leave me alone" I whine getting up. He then grab my wrist tightly and I flinch. I guess u haven't mention about that. Or that I'm  now doing hard core drugs.

"molly" he calls out

"what Gus" I said

"Come here" he says

"No Gus this is stupid why can't you ju-" he grabs my arms and pull my sleeves up revealing the cuts down my arm.

he then looks at me and I look away ashamed that he saw. He dropped my arm. And continued to stare at me.

"Molly I-"

"Don't even say anything" I say

"No I am bec-"

"No u aren't Gus, this last month I have gotten worse, I don't ever find happiness, I never will. all I can do is sit here and pretend just so I don't be that friend that's ruins everything. but you know what I  already am, so what would be the difference if I was-"

"don't you dare say that Molly" he said looking down at the floor with tears running down his cheeks.

"dead" I finish off and he crys more.

I then get up and go to my closet getting a pill bottle and popping 4 xans.

"Molly what the fuck are you doing" he runs to me grabbing the pill bottle out of my hand.

"You can't say shit, you do drugs too" I said

"but it hurts to see you doing them" he whispers

"Your girlfriend does drugs and you let her do leave me alone" I said pushing him off me

"But it's different Molly" he yells

I just go to my desk, pulling my notebook and start writing lyrics.

I been moving I backward direction
During astral projections
I plaster my ass on a wall for attention
I need faster connections
Past is regret , I have flashed from the genesis
If I didn't care what my friends did
Friends are pretend
Wanna end when you get bit
Get slick, get quick, wanna send shit
End with a sniff, or a huff, or injection
I can't handle rejection
Stand my reflection
Damn no one gets it
Should I be kind and remind that I'm weak

I can feel arms around me and I break down crying.

"no one gets me Gus, I can't do it anymore" I cry