Lo Siento

13

June 14th. Sunday.

"Morning mi amor!" I hear my Mom wake me up.

"Feliz cumpleañossss!"

Oh yeah. Finally. 18. I rub my eyes, digging out all the matter in them.

"Gracias mami. Is Natalia coming up?" I ask starting to get out of bed.

She looks down. I knew my answer by then. Natalia got engaged. To Antonio. I haven't seen them since.

I'm not so excited to turn 18 if you could tell.

One: I'm legal for most things, so anything could happen to me and it'll be okay, kind of.

Two: People are going to expect a lot from and of me. Talk about responsibility.

Three: The worst of them all, Ethan gets out. He went to jail, not for coming near me, but for dealing drugs to minorities. Fourteen-year old's, seventeens, and some eleven-year old's. His Mom wasn't too happy to see her son getting chased down the street by cop cars in the middle of the night. He's getting released today. Of all days, my birthday. Not to mention that note he left me two years ago. It was basically a threat note. I'm frightened already knowing he's released, but now I'd be on my own. For the rest of my life.

Mom gets up from the side of my bed and tells me she's going out with Leonard. I was confused why I wasn't invited. After all, I am the birthday girl. But it was whatever. I didn't want to leave my room. Out in the real world.

It was Sunday so school starts tomorrow and ends Wednesday. June 18th, summer, is taking forever to get here. I aced all my finals and passed my driver's test. All I have left to do is live. I got accepted into Cornell University. Free scholarship and everything. I start next Monday. Luckily, Cornell is kind of far from here so I won't be around the locals, especially my Mom and Ethan. Mom has been kind of distant to be honest. I feel like Leonard tries to keep her away from me. Mom leaves my room and I fall back onto my bed, tired and hopeless. I felt trapped. I was trapped.

My birthday was terrible. Natalia never came. Not even a call or text. Mom and Leonard had sex basically the whole day. I didn't care as much as I should've but 10% of me wanted someone to care.

It was now Monday. I had the most unusual feeling today. I didn't like it. 7th period came. Two more periods and I'd be done. I've grown very distant with my friends. Savannah and I no longer speak because she did things to spite me. That's a toxic friendship. There's still some awkward air around Cole and I. He sends me notes in my locker sometimes like "Hey" or "Liked your hair today" with a smiley face drawn on. It's cute, but I'm over relationships. Probably for good.

"Can anyone tell me what the square root of a square is?" my math teacher asks the class for the third time.

"No one? Alright. Let's go alphabetically. Julia. Answer the question please" he points to me now being Julia Nicole Armstrong. I miss Castoro.

"Um. The answer is-" I start to say until I'm interrupted by the fire alarm going off. Saved by the bell.

"Well. You know the drill. No talking. Single file line out the door and down the stairs" Mr. Chino instructs, following behind us.

I was the first one out the door so that means I was the one all the way in the back. I couldn't even hear Mr. Chino call out for attendance so I just kept raising my hand. I noticed that everyone had a friend to talk to or even just a casual head nod towards the person. I didn't realize how small my friend circle was until they all left so quickly. I started to feel depressed about the things that had happened. Natalia was my support group but with her given situation, she was nowhere to be found. I hear rustling in the bushes behind me. I go on my phone in secret.

Probably a squirrel.

I heard a clicking sound on the back of my head. A force.

"Don't say a sound" it whispers.

"Walk backwards" it instructs. I don't move. Every nerve in my body has left and it has no idea what to do.

"I will shoot you in front of the whole school" it says firmer, as it presses the gun forward onto my head. I couldn't make out if the voice was female of male.

At this point, I'm in tears. I'm scared.

"You have 5 seconds." it counts down.

"4..."

I don't move.

"3..." it says a little louder, "2..." it cocks the gun.

I take a step back.

"Further" it instructs.

I bow my head, letting the tears fall down my face.

"Please..." I whisper. The person doesn't respond for a good minute. I was starting to think it had left.

"Come here, mi hermana" it returns and traces the gun down my back to my hips. This wasn't the same person. It rubs the gun on my right hip and then to my left. I use my hand to brush it away, hoping that would influence it to stop, but it only made it worse.

I'm one step away from the stranger. I don't want to do this. For all I know, it was working for Ethan. Or... it was Ethan.

"1..." it brings the gun back to my head.

"Are you sure?" it asks, the voice sounding familiar.

"Tell me who you are and I'll come with you" I whisper. There's no answer.

It didn't respond. Or shoot.

I slowly turn my head around to identify my "shooter".

There was no one there.

"Let's go! It's safe" Mr. Chino calls out.

Is it?