SOLACE

twenty-eight

He remained quiet. I knew it hurts him knowing he had a bad relationship with our mother but he couldn't do anything to change her. He just accepted it that it's how it's going to be but his respect for her was still there.

I knew Kai was a good person, even if people see him as intimidating and threatening. He was far from that. He may use a bit of rudeness to build a wall to people but I knew him better than that. After all, he's my brother.

"Who did this to you, Kai?" I timidly asked when we were silent for a minute. It hurts me to see that he had a lot of injuries, he couldn't even open his right eye because of the swelling but I'm at least glad he's here.

He took a gulp as he licked his lower lip. His fists were clenched and I just know he is probably thinking of the person who did this to him.

"You won't understand," He whispers, still not looking at me.

"You really think I'm like that? How would you know? You never tell me anything!" I lashed out as I stood up from my seat.

"It really hurts me to hear that you don't trust me enough! If only I knew what you were doing then you wouldn't be here!" I ranted, angry tears spilling out of my eyes. I've had enough of crying to last the whole month.

"I was just trying to protect you. If I have told you then both of us could've been lying here right now!" He argued.

I remained quiet as I let myself cry, I covered my face using my hands. I was just drained.

"I was out. They call me if they need a hookup with molly or weed. They promised big money so, I took the deal," He mutters. My lips parted as I turned my head to look at him.

"I should've known when they wanted to meet at their hood that it would be foul-play. I got played, they took all bags that I brought for them before they attacked me. It was three of them and then there's me," He chuckles bitterly.

I pursed my lips as realization rushed into me. That's what Franco meant when he said he supplies the parties, right?

"You didn't have to that, Kai. What were you thinking?" I muttered in a low voice as I try to be discreet of what we were talking about.

"No, Dela. I had to do it," He clenches his jaw when he looked at me. "No one was paying the bills, we had no food at the house and you don't even have your own money," He added.

I couldn't speak, I opened my mouth but I didn't know the words to say. All this time, I was thinking Mom was the one giving me money. How oblivious could I be?

"Wait, you're the one leaving money on my desk?" I asked. I had to make sure.

He just looks at me intently, as if it gives the answer already. I took it as a yes.

"Why didn't you tell me it was you? I've been thinking Mom still cared for us when she really didn't," I followed up, my lips parted in disbelief.

"I already thought you wouldn't take it and you'd keep bugging me where the money comes from," He replied sternly.

"I've worked part-time after class and did this since I entered high school. Just for us to survive because I know how much she hated me that she neglected she had a son," He elaborates. I saw his eyes started to glisten as he fought the urge to let it out.

I slowly gulped and bit my lower lip before I sat down beside him.

"Is that why you didn't even want people to know we're related because you were dealing drugs?" I timidly asked.

"The main reason is I just don't want you to be involved in any of these. If I get caught, I want it to be only me. I don't want you getting blamed or anyone else," He monotonously says.

"You have to stop doing this, Kai. It might even get worse than this," I pleaded.

"You think I wanted to live like this, Adeline?" He scoffed, as he put a sarcastic smile on his lips.

"We could've died if we just depended on our mother to take care of us. She doesn't even remember there are bills to pay and we had multiple disconnection notices. She left us to starve because she's been addicted to gambling," He pointed out.

"I'm sorry, you had to go through this alone. I'm going to wor-" I said while I wiped my tears that couldn't stop falling, I started to feel my eyes swelling as well.

"No, you're going to study. I've saved enough money for you to go to uni," He objected.

"What about you? We're already graduating in a few months," I pouted at him as my brows knitted in worry.

"Don't worry about me. I did this for us, I know you'll do better in college," He shows a small smile but it faded not long after.

"I'll study well for the both of us then," I whispered before giving him a reassuring smile.

Even though I still wasn't sure what I wanted to pursue, Kai had trust in me.

What Kai told me today changed my perspective about him. I hated myself for thinking he was being selfish without knowing he was already doing everything for us. I admit that I judged him too quickly. I thought he opted to get into fights because that's where he redirects his anger.

Obviously, I didn't know the whole story. I didn't even ask him how he was doing or was he tired or anything. I was busy with myself that I forgot about him, while he protected me in his own way.

After that, we just ate our late brunch and we both rested. The doctor and nurse would come in from time to time to check up on him and reminded him what he's not allowed to do while he heals his injuries.