Mare's Nests

End

People say being in love is the best thing that will happen in your life.

What does it mean to be in love? How is love different from like?

Everytime I ask someone this question it's either their answers are vague or out of a book context. But some would say.

It would feel like he's your whole world. That if it's not him then no one would be good enough.

But is that what love really is? If so then maybe what I felt for Zev wasn't love.

For some time I wasn't able to look properly at other guys because of him. Because no one would be of comparison to him. I always overthink about stuffs like maybe I'll be able to meet him today. When I get a little closer to the places he's been in, I was happy but never content. I want to meet him personally, I want to make sure if what I feel for him is nothing more than a fantasy.

Now looking back, I guess not meeting him was good. Because now I won't have any lingering memories because we had none. And it's true no one would be of comparison to the efforts he made for years but I realized it's not about the efforts. It's how one pours all of his feelings to the things he do.

If there is one thing I'm grateful for. It's that he became my motivation for some time. The drive and will to meet him and stand next to him became one of the things why I was able to suppress my suicidal tendencies.
Why I am able to stand here today.

"Lucas Factor do you take Aeriel Sarmiento as your lawfully wedded wife?"

"Yes Father"

I glanced at my mom who was crying by the side and my dad consoling her. I looked at my brother who is about to kiss his bride.

The thing that I never found for myself. My brother has found it since he was a child. Marrying his childhood friend and being by her side now and forever, he must have been really happy.

I looked around, Abrielle is also beside her husband and Isla? She also somehow found someone whom she'll cherish for the rest of her life.

I admit that it does feel empty somehow but.. you see even without a significant one you'll still be able to feel the love that they would wonderfully sing about.

It's not about making someone your whole world. It's about seeing how happy they are and you'll feel extremely content.

Because I think that's what it is.

"Mnemosyne someone outside wants to see you"

I turned around and silently walked to the church's gate. 

"Hey Mnemosyne, I didn't mean to bother you in this special occasion. I just want to see you after I returned here."

I took the bouquet of carnation flowers he handed me. I smiled at him.

Now what's the difference between being in love and liking someone?

"Welcome home.."

That's what I'm about to find out now.