clumsy | l.h.

thirteen

"stop there, and let me correct it, i wanna live a life from a new perspective" - New Perspective / Panic! At The Disco

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-Violet-

"Thank you guys for agreeing to just forget about gifts this year. Money's a little tight right now, as I think you both know." I gave Sydney and Ashton gracious smiles from over the kitchen counter. 

It was Christmas Eve, and we were having our own version of Christmas before we all went to our families houses' the next day. I agreed to have Christmas with my mom against my better judgement, and I was just hoping that the next day went by quickly and relatively painlessly.

Obviously, I wasn't raking in the cash from just working at the coffee shop during my free time. Luckily, Sydney and Ashton were happy to not buy gifts this year, and we opted to just make a nice dinner instead. They were making a lasagna, one of their parents' favorite recipes, and I was just supervising while they cooked. 

Sydney gave me a smirk, "About that, I actually do have just a small gift for you."

I frowned, "Syd! We agreed! You're going to make me feel bad now."

She shook her head, "Trust me, it's not a big deal. Hold on one second."

Sydney retreated to her room, leaving Ashton and I alone in the kitchen. After a few beats of silence, he cleared his throat, "I think I owe you an apology, Vi."

"Ash, it's honestly okay. Obviously I don't love the way you've been acting towards me but I get it, you're just hurt."

He sighed, "That doesn't exactly justify me acting like such a child about the whole situation. You didn't deserve that."

"Well, I appreciate the apology. And just so you know, I never intended to hurt you, or make you feel like I lied to you. When I told you I didn't have feelings for Luke, I meant it, at the time. Or at least I believed that I meant it. In all honesty, I don't even think I realized how I felt for a long time."

Ashton nodded, "I get it. You can't help how you feel. And honestly, knowing your track record with these kinds of things, I feel like I should just be glad that you actually found someone you have such strong feelings for. I think that's the first time this has happened in all the time we've been friends."

I smiled, "Trust me, I'm as shocked as you are. Thank you for being so understanding, Ash. You know how much your friendship means to me, and I'm glad we can try to get back to normal. I know it's probably not easy for you, so I appreciate the effort."

He gave me a small smile back, turning his attention back to making dinner. Sydney came back into the kitchen, holding a double bottle of wine in her hands. She placed it in front of me, "This is for you to have tomorrow. I know you're going to need something to try and stay sane and hopefully not spend the whole time arguing with your mom."

I stood up and gave Sydney a hug, laughing, "This is a wonderful gift, thank you. Trust me, this is going to be so helpful tomorrow. Especially with Charlie being there, and this year being the last Christmas we'll have in the house I grew up in."

I could already feel my annoyance setting in. My mom agreed to put off moving in with Charlie until after the holidays, so we could spend them in the house one more time. We hadn't really talked much since the night we had dinner, so things were still uncomfortable. I was, though, surprised that she was still with Charlie. This particular relationship was lasting longer than most, and it was throwing off my typical judgments. I was starting to think that maybe I needed to give him a real chance when I saw him the next day.