clumsy | l.h.

twenty-nine

"i guess you figured me out, now here's a taste of my own medicine" - Clumsy / All Time Low

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-Violet-

A soft knock on the door woke me up, followed by the sound of my bedroom door slowly creaking open. I opened my eyes, fighting away the slight disappointment tugging at me when I realized it was just Sydney. She took a seat at the end of my bed, "Hey, how're you feeling today?"

I didn't meet her eyes, "Same as yesterday. Angry. Sad. Confused. Embarrassed."

She furrowed her eyebrows, "Embarrassed? Why?"

I traced my fingertips along the line of a thread in my sheets, "Look at me. I spent all of yesterday moping around in bed, and here I am again. Over what? Some stupid boy who I was stupid to let in. It's just so cliche."

Sydney sighed, "Vi, none of this is your fault. And you shouldn't feel bad that you're upset about this. It's completely justified. I never would have expected this to happen, ever. Luke seemed completely head over heels for you. It really doesn't make any sense."

I winced at the sound of his name. I finally sat up in bed, still keeping my eyes fixed on my lap, "Has Michael said anything? I mean, not that I expect either of you to get involved in this mess. Just curious, really."

She shrugged, "As far as he told me, Michael has no idea why Luke did what he did. He hasn't said a word about it to either of the boys. Apparently he's just been walking around the apartment in a grumpy ass mood, not really talking to anyone."

I picked up my phone, fighting back the stupid hope that I would have heard from him by now. Part of me still wanted to believe that this was some dumb mistake, some kind of misunderstanding. That we could just talk it out, laugh about it in a week or two. But, it had been over a day and I hadn't heard a word. No texts, no calls, and no visits. I was starting to realize that this was it, it was really over. I wasn't going to get any answers.

I put my head in my hands, "This whole thing is so goddamned stupid, Syd. I let myself fall for someone for the first time in forever. And this is how it ends? Cheating on me with some random girl? What a fucking joke."

Sydney pulled my hands away, finally forcing me to look her in the eyes, "Vi, I refuse to let you keep feeling sorry for yourself. You deserve way better than this self-pitying bullshit. Forget about Luke, if he was dumb enough to do this to you then he's clearly not worth even a second of your time."

Another soft knock came from my doorway, and Ashton walked in, standing at the foot of my bed, "Syd is right, you know. He's clearly a dumbass if he's going to let you get away."

I gave him a soft smile, "I wish it was that easy. All I can think about is how much time I wasted on him, on something that clearly didn't mean anything. At least, not to him. And here I was, ready to consider throwing away an amazing opportunity for him. All for L... for him."

I felt myself get caught on his name, tearing open the fresh wound in my chest once again. Ashton sat down on the bed on the other side of me, "Wait, did you ever get in touch with the magazine?"

I shook my head, "No, I haven't even taken any more time to consider it, honestly. I had barely given it any thought before, y'know, everything happened. And I've been a little distracted since."

Sydney's eyes widened, "Well, what the hell is stopping you now?"

And for the first time in two days, everything came into focus. Sydney was right, I had nothing to stop me now. The only reason I had any serious, irreconcilable reservations about the job was because of Luke. I sighed, "I mean, nothing? It all just seems so crazy, moving across the country. There are so many reasons to turn the offer down."