clumsy | l.h.

one

"it's probably 'cause, i hate to admit, i don't know why love even exists"

- IDK Why / Hoodie Allen

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-Violet-

Surprisingly, I woke up to Sydney and Ashton making noise in the kitchen rather than my own alarm. I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes, still exhausted from the ridiculousness of the night before. But, duty called, and the coffee at the cafe down the street certainly wasn't going to pour itself.

Out in the kitchen, Sydney and Ashton both greeted me with a smile. Sydney laughed at the look of confusion on my face, "Trust me, Vi, I'm as shocked as you are that we woke up before you. But, Ash and I have to hold a meeting today because for some reason the employees think that new management means they can slack off."

I rolled my eyes, as I usually did when I heard Syd talk about her coworkers. Sydney and Ashton, twins who were practically joined at the hip, had been placed in charge of the family restaurant after their parents decided to retire early and adventure all over the world. The restaurant was originally going to be sold to an outsider, but Syd wouldn't let that happen, and she twisted Ashton's arm until he agreed to run it with her.

Sydney could be convincing like that. As her best friend since high school, I knew that better than anyone, except maybe for Ashton. She was headstrong and more sentimental than she would like to admit, which was why keeping the restaurant in the family meant so much to her.

Ashton, on the other hand, probably would have been fine with letting the restaurant go. He was doing great in his new position as co-owner, but I knew this wasn't what he wanted. He did, too, and I could see it on his face anytime there were some particularly challenging days.

I sat down on a stool at the counter, "Well, Syd, I'm sure you can whip them into shape. And Ashton, well, I guess you could help too."

Ashton scoffed, "I'll have you know, Vi, I can be just as ruthless and motivating as Syd. I happen to believe I can be far more persuasive."

He kept his gaze fixed on me for a few beats, before looking away and busying himself with putting away a few stray dishes. Ashton and I had always been friendly, but we had gotten to be much closer friends since living together after college. I could tell, though, that he maybe wanted something more than that. Something about the comments he occasionally made and the way he looked at me, I knew that things were less platonic than they seemed.

I typically reciprocated his flirting, keeping things casual. There was no harm in a little fun and flirtation, but I made sure it never went further than that. It wasn't necessarily that I didn't like Ashton, and I could certainly imagine something happening between us. But I was too busy to focus on any kind of relationship, and I had vowed to myself to focus on more important things until I got what I wanted.

Growing up, I watched my mother throw away everything she had dreamed of. She wanted to be an artist, and she had the talent to make a name for herself. Instead, she let a string of men come and go from her life after my father left, shortly after I was born. She would change herself and her priorities for these guys, always putting their needs above her own. Eventually she stopped painting completely, tucking all her art supplies in our dusty attic back home.

It was infuriating, and also a lesson I took a lot from. When I found a passion in photography, I promised myself I wouldn't let anyone get in the way of that. I wanted to secure a position at a major magazine, and doing so required all my attention and focus. Sure, I had sacrificed plenty of potential relationships in order to do this, but in my eyes it was worth it. Achieving my dream was way more important than any guy could ever be, and love seemed overrated anyway.