Uncanny Snake

XXXIII - Always A Way

The sun rose, indicating a new day was upon us, but all was quiet, the birds did not chirp, the wind did not howl, and the sun remained hidden behind a curtain of clouds. Not wanting to be fashionably late, Severus set aside the paperwork piling atop the headmaster's desk and slipped on his robes, dreading the day that awaited us. Even though I had technically coaxed Severus to attend the funeral, I now began to have my doubts.

My being there felt wrong. I was the one responsible for Albus' death, but it was too late to back down now. There was an expectant look in Severus' eyes, and I let out an exasperated sigh holding out my arm. He took hold of my hand, and we apparated, keeping a professional distance. The funeral procession was already underway as the coffin was being carried down the rows of seats.

Everyone was dressed in black, and like many others, I wore a black robe to pay my respects. I was permanently done with dresses for the foreseeable future. However, to Severus, it wasn't much of an adjustment, the man dressed like he had to attend a funeral every day. Sev squeezed my hand for a brief moment, and then made his way towards our seats. Glances were tossed our way, but overall, no one seemed to care. Everyone was in mourning.

I glanced at the ring on my finger, and my gaze trailed its counterpart, it brought some comfort knowing he was by my side. Order members stood in attendance, and I was amazed by the sheer number of people and races that had shown up today. Ministry officials stood to the side, and even centaurs had come to pay their respects, the same applied to merfolks, and I absorbed the guilt like a sponge.

I still firmly believed that Albus' life was much more valuable than mine, even in his old age, I could never hope to surpass such a man. All my life, it felt as though I had been born to some great purpose, born to achieve greatness, but a name is just a name. Every child from any great household was probably told the same as they came of age. I never asked for any of this, and if I could choose, I would want to be a normal girl, which was an obsession of mine since I was little. That was the whole reason I chose to attend muggle school. It doesn't matter how fast or how far you run, things just naturally catch up to you, and by the time they do, it's usually too late to go back.

The coffin finally reached its destination, and I watched as it was slowly lowered onto the dais, a bed of flowers circling Albus' place of resting. The silence was deafening, and finally, people took to their seats. Looking around, I noticed students and adults alike trying their best to hide their tears. I wanted to cry, but I didn't have it in me, my gaze only drifted back to the coffin as I waited for the ceremony to begin.

As agreed, Minerva delivered her speech: a tribute to the man who had been a guiding pillar for many youths. I couldn't help but tune Minerva out. I wondered if my funeral would be like this. This funeral rubbed me the wrong way, Albus had made many mistakes in his life. Tom Riddle being one of the many. Not many knew Albus for the man he really was; even I doubt I knew him as well as I thought I did. Despite having known him for the majority of my life, he felt so distant.

Would my death be like this? People who barely knew me? Would they take everything at face value? I knew this was normal. It was a funeral, after all. Albus had died, but he carried his secrets, his mistakes, and regrets to his grave. He was about to buried six feet under and take all of that burden with him; it all felt so wrong. The death of my father is something I can accept, but Albus, why did it all feel so wrong?

Maybe because I should have been the one in that coffin, I had seen many people taken before their time. The wrath of a grieving mother is terrifying, to say the least, the spiteful glares, speaking a testament to their heartbreak and loss. All of them whispering the same thing, why not me? Why not anyone else? The sad truth is that life is not equal in this world.