Uncanny Snake

XXVII - Lured

It was early, but I couldn't catch a wink of sleep, I didn't like the way I had left things with Severus. So here I stood in front of his quarters, thumbing nervously, revising and polishing the words I intended to speak. Was he even awake? It was five in the morning, and Severus barely slept as it was, he had to be awake. Of that, I firmly hoped the be right, I took another deep breath and lifted my fist, intending to knock, but chickened out at the last second.

"No, no," I mumbled to myself, reciting the speech over again, pacing in front of his door like a kleptomaniac. My soapbox speech contained a lot of the things my father had explained to me. Something about nurturing our bond, I was all for that. This was ridiculous. I knocked at his door, and mentally cried out as I began freaking out, and he hadn't even opened the door yet. Calm. Calm—the door opened, and Severus sighed, his sharp gaze narrowing on me.

"Sorry, I know it's early, but I just wanted to apo-" the door slammed shut in my face, and everything went blank for a few seconds. It took me a minute to realize what had happened, and I took a sluggish step back, my mouth closing on its own. "Nurture the bond..." I mumbled to myself. What was once hope now felt hollow. What was I even doing here? What was I expecting? Always chasing men who didn't want me.

Nurture my ass. There was nothing to nurture. "Can I at least get my stuff back?" Two suitcases stacked neatly on top of one another, and a bag appeared in front of the door, and I held my breath. He had already packed my bags; at this point, I didn't even know what to feel. To think it would end like this, like any other relationship. "The one." I scoffed at that and knelt, rummaging through my suitcases, and sure enough, everything was there. I noticed the droplets of water dripping onto my clothes and closed my eyes.

"You're right. I am stupid. So very stupid." I can't say I didn't see this coming. Severus Snape. Of all the fishes in the sea, I probably picked the worst person imaginable—Severus fucking Snape. There were so many things on my mind, half of them mainly insults, petty words, and just pure anger. I wanted to scream and tear him down from his high horse, but it wasn't worth it. I was too tired and hurt, and the anger just turned to sorrow as more tears trickled down my cheeks.

My knuckles turned white from gripping my clothes so hard. I'm so tired. The pain never seems to end, and I didn't want to do this anymore. I shrunk my luggage and stored it in my pocket. I wanted to be regretful, wish this had never happened, but that's not how I felt. Not at all, it had been the happiest moments of my life, and now they would only turn into longing memories of what once was. I couldn't walk away quite yet, and without thinking, I rested my forehead against his door. "I just have to know one thing...did you ever love me?" No answer. Silently, I unclasped the necklace around my neck and looped it around the handle. I thought so.

I wrote my father a brief letter, it was to the point, and once I was done, I slipped it under his door and made my way out to the courtyard. I had a hard time believing that none of it was real. To some degree, he had to care, right? He hadn't even wanted to speak to me. If he cared, he would have at least...well, not slammed the door in my face. I glanced back at the castle, hoping to see Severus coming after me, but my more logical side knew that wasn't going to happen. So, I apparated.

Standing across the street, I tapped my foot and watched as the order's headquarters came into view—a slight comfort for a shitty week. I crossed the road and walked up to a seemingly ordinary house. Pushing the gate open, I knocked four times at the door, waited, and I smiled at the clumsy footsteps making their way towards me. The door opened, revealing a disheveled Sirius, and I smiled, engulfing him in a much-needed embrace.

"Hey... what's wrong? You look like you've been crying?"

"Yeah. Can I come in?"

"Of course, Rynne, you're always welcomed here." He ushered me in, and poked his head out, glancing from side to side.