Ruthless love

A piece of paradise

That night was one of restlessness and unintentional overthinking.

Last night's incident replayed through my mind over and over again, each time fading more until I no longer remembered what had happened.

This was a vicious cycle, as the blood and shattered glass on the floor served as an unfriendly reminder each time my eyes would catch a glimpse of it.

I had begun to consider leaving my sleeping spot on the hard floor, in favor of my warm, soft bed.

Yet somehow, I could not get myself to do it.

Something in me was reluctant to leave him alone in that state.

I turned to look past my shoulder, to steal a glimpse of the sleeping figure on the couch behind me.

It was a disturbing, yet comforting sight.

To see the man who seemed so wounded, so distanced and imprisoned in his own mind, sleeping soundly.

Undisturbed by the worries that seemed to constantly haunt him.

I was tempted to brush a strand of hair away from his face, but quickly gathered myself and turned my attention to the embers in the fireplace.

A part of me related to the tiny sparks of fire that fought so hard to stay lit but ended up succumbing to the cold air in the room.

I had fought so hard for so long and left behind everything I knew.

I had clung to a theory based on childish curiosity mixed with a fair amount of wives' tales, only for it to be crushed before I ever even discovered the truth.

My hope was like the embers had been.

Slowly dimming.

And there was seemingly not a thing I could do to stop it in my current situation.

I would have to accept what my decision had gotten me into and figure out how to live my life from there, while my curiosity would hopefully, slowly die out and evaporate.

My thoughts were buzzing in my head.

I once again caught myself getting restless beyond my control, slowly losing my composure and ability to stay calm.

I ended up carefully getting to my feet, very focused on not waking up the man, as I thought that it would likely get me into trouble.

There was barely any light in the room now that the fire had died out, but I figured I might as well find something to read.

That had been the reason for me going there after all.

I left the choice of reading material to my gut and fingertips as I slowly traced my fingers along the backs of the books while I wandered around in the library.

The options seemed endless.

I stopped when my fingers touched upon a rough surface that seemed to belong to a large and rather worn book.

When I pulled it out to have a look at it, the dust from the shelf fell down onto me almost like a fine mist.

I desperately fought to hold back a sneeze, but in vain.

Good job Stella...

The sound almost echoed in the quiet room and I froze as I listened for any signs that it had woken him up.

Thinking that I was in the clear, I breathed a sigh of relief only to then hear light rustling coming from the sitting area.

I hurried back toward my sleeping spot on the floor, with the book under one arm while I used the other for directing, trying not to bump into anything and make more noise and disturbance.