Ruthless love

The Vision

I went to bed that evening, restless and almost desperate to return to his embrace.

Our time on the balcony was playing in my mind repeatedly, and the more I attempted to block out the feelings that seemed to rest below the surface of my failing cold facade, the more they threatened to escape for everyone to see.

I was lying to myself and had been doing so for far too long.

The more I tried to push it aside, the more my heart seemed to race and my skin burned even stronger from where he had touched me.

I rolled my eyes in frustration as I murmured to myself.

"Get a grip or you'll lose it completely"

Unsurprisingly this did not help in the least and found myself allowing my thoughts to run wild.

I silently prayed that he had felt something similar - if anything at least a tinge of what seemed to consume me at this point.

I stared up at the ceiling, attempting to clear my mind while the time flashed by.

One hour passed, then another.

As the third hour approached, I sat up frustratedly and shook my head.

He lingered on me, not only his scent on my skin and his voice in my head but his very presence seemed to linger in the air.

It would not matter where I went.

He would be there.

I pulled the thin robe tighter around my body as I quietly tiptoed through the halls in the dark of night.

Admittedly I had not even remotely thought my plan through, perhaps because of lack of the same.

It was as if some invisible force was telling me to go see him, leading me to him.

The closer I got to his chambers, the more the familiar sensation on the back of my neck seemed to grow.

My entire body was on edge and I felt like he was watching me somehow.

I paused in front of the large wooden door as reality suddenly hit me.

What was I doing??

I should not be there, not on my own and certainly not at that hour and I knew it, but yet I could not convince myself to go back to my room.

It was as though I had suddenly become incapable of moving and my breath seemed to catch in my throat.

Moments later I heard rustling behind the door and I snapped out of my daze.

"Stella you have officially lost it.."

I scolded myself quietly as I backed away from the sound.

The sensation on the back of my neck was spreading rapidly and I knew there was no turning back at this point.

He knew I was there.

Even if he had not heard me a moment ago, he surely must have felt me.

There was no way he would not have, as the tingling sensation was now so powerful, that it felt like my body was on fire or submerged in ice-cold water.

I heard footsteps just behind the door and the knob slowly started turning.

I was not sure what had hit me first, the sudden breathlessness or the strong smell of alcohol coming from him as he leaned against the doorframe.

His eyes were dull and he looked sedated, yet fully aware and alert.

Was he drunk?