Ruthless love

Two Halves of A Whole

His words echoed in the small room and my reaction surprised both of us as a hollow laugh suddenly had escaped me.

I sat there laughing like a lunatic at the words that should have saddened me, completely disconnected from the sinister reality that had suddenly set in.

I must have sat like that for a while because he was now facing me with an increasingly worried expression plastered on his face and I felt my lungs fail me.

The laughter was replaced by a hoarse cough that caused my airway to burn.

It felt as though someone had poured acid down my throat and I let myself flop back down onto the mattress with a pained expression, desperately attempting to suppress a cry.

"Did you hear what I just said?" he asked, and I detected slight annoyance as well as worry and sadness in his voice.

"I heard you loud and clear, although I'd love to have heard you wrong... Please don't repeat yourself, I'm begging you..."

His expression softened and he sat back down to help me as I tried to awkwardly readjust the pillow behind me.

"What do you remember..?" he asked quietly, his voice strained as he was failing to suppress the tears that threatened to well up in his eyes.

I had never seen him like that before and for once I felt absolutely terrified and helpless.

The one man who never seemed to be phased or frightened by anything was not only at a loss for words and trying to make sense of the situation - he was actually crying.

Instinctively I reached up to catch a stray tear that had formed in his eyes and fell down to rest on his cheek, just beneath his lashes.

It pained me to see him like this and I felt my chest tighten as I fought back the tears that threatened to escape my eyes once more.

His eyes locked with mine as he leaned into my touch and they seemed to express a thousand unspoken feelings in a mere second.

I prayed that he would read mine as well and read those same feelings reflected back at him tenfold. I loved this man more than any words would ever be able to express and I was surely going to die if he did not feel the same way - not that it would change the current trajectory of my fate.

I remembered everything.

The man that had always seemed so strong and sure, laid his head down to rest it against my chest.

"What are you...?"

He hushed me quietly, answering my question as he closed his eyes and focused on the sound of my heartbeat.

He looked as though he was clinging to the sound of it to reassure himself that I was still there and that I would be okay.

"I'm still here Zack..."

I quietly reassured him, although not sounding as sure as I would have liked to.

He simply nodded and tightened his grip around me slightly.

"Good.. I'm not ready to let you go"

My brows furrowed slightly at his words as reality seemingly had not set in completely yet and I instinctively replied.

"I'm not going anywhere..."

Those words seemed to spark something in him because he let go of me, kissed my palms and stood up to leave the room.

"Not if I have a say in it"

The feeling of his soft lips against the palms of my hands lingered long after he had left me to myself and I could not help but wonder what he had meant.