craquaria ✰ i love you, or whatever

Chapter 6: I trust you

Giovanni's POV

I was back in my room and OH MY GOD! THAT WAS SO INTENSE! I laughed to myself. God, the way that Max had just lied for me... I couldn't even hear what he said but must've been good because that girl from the production crew seemed really invested in what she was saying. Also what the fuck had just happened??? Did I really almost tell him that I used to like him before all of this the drama began? Did that just really happen? Jesus, how can I be so sloppy! I could've ruined everything. This is my only chance to be friends with him again and I was going to just throw it all away but telling him how I felt? I don't even know what was going on, or what exactly did I use to feel back in NYC when we were friends. He had been such a huge part of my life and then never talked again. Ugh, it was so frustrating. But at least we're okay now. And I'm committed to doing everything right this time, we're going to be friends again, and I can't risk damaging our fragile friendship again by confessing my damn emotions. Enough was enough. Whatever my heart was so loudly screaming my head would just have to shut down. It's not fair for either of us...
I grabbed a coat and headed downstairs so that we could all just finally leave headed towards the studio.

We were all back in the werk room and being around him felt weird. What everyone last recalled was that we hated each other, and having to keep character and try to avoid eye contact became really hard really quick. I just couldn't help but look for his eyes whenever someone said something funny, or whenever someone said something dumb, or whenever someone said something annoying, or whenever we were all in silence. I just wanted to keep talking to him just like we did in the morning and forget all the fuss of the competition. Although I knew I had come here with one purpose only, and it was to win. I just didn't imagine that she'd be here. To be honest I didn't imagine that any of this would happen. The entire situation felt so surreal... I shook my head and focused on what today's challenge was. I came here for the crown and as much as I wanted to be with Cracker I still had to work my ass off in order to win.

We all got divided into groups, she was on the opposite team, of course, so that kinda helped me to focus on what the challenge was. We crossed eyes for some seconds, trying our best to avoid the other girls from noticing it. I'd say we did a great job but I really wouldn't know. I wasn't friends with anyone yet. I mean yeah, I knew Monet and Dusty from back home, but they didn't like me. They're friends with Cracker and they must think that I'm just an egotistical teenager who doesn't know what he's doing, and I can't blame them. That's the image that I've built for myself, maybe not on purpose but still. I know that every one finds me awkward, and self-centered and mean but I'm not all of those things, I just don't know how to talk to people. I'm not good at randomly connecting with anyone. Maybe that's why my friendship with Max was so important to me. As Aquaria everyone loved me, but as Giovanni... I just couldn't talk and interact with people the same way. I'm not a people person and I never will be. I have a great set of friends back at home but even with them, it's really hard for me to open up and be vulnerable. That must be why everyone sees me as this shallow person... I know I have to work on it. I know that that's one of the main struggles that I'll have throughout the competition. But I couldn't think of it right now. It was a dance challenge and I was sure that I had it in the bag.

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Some hours went by, my team had already rehearsed and learned the choreography. The other team was fucked. Ours was much more prepared and much more organized. I felt sorry for Cracker, I didn't want him to be sad over losing. But it was definitely my team's win. We were all in the werk room putting on the last work on our outfits before they told us that we had to go back to the hotel. Asia and I had been sewing together and talking for almost two hours. But I needed to pee, badly. I didn't want to interrupt her but I genuinely had to go. I excused myself, left to werk room, and ran to the bathroom. Once I was done suffering I headed over to the sink to wash my hands and heard someone crying and realized that they were kneeling on the floor inside one of the stalls. I recognized him immediately...

- Crackie? - I asked, worried. I saw him stand up from under the stall door and heard him strongly breathe in.

- Gio? - He answered and proceeded to open the door. His eyes were puffy and he looked sad. God, had he been crying?

- Hey, hey hey hey no... Hey, come here. What's wrong? Are you okay?

- Oh yeah, I'm perfect. - He said trying his hardest to smile but failing at it.

- What happened?

- My team is a mess, this competition is hitting me harder than I anticipated. I know it's been just one challenge but I swear to God my brain is killing me. I feel like I will literally die at any second. I'm scared of everything and I'm sure that I'll end up in the bottom tomorrow... I don't wanna go home. I can't go home. - He said, his eyes started to water again.

- Oh no, don't do that to yourself. You're gonna be fine. Have you met yourself? You're amazing, I mean you might not be the best dancer but bitch you're funny as hell. Just learn your lyrics and tomorrow you go on that stage and deliver the best you can. Don't even worry about your team. You're gonna kill it, just focus on that. - Impulsively, I wiped off his tears and cupped his face with my two hands. He seemed so vulnerable and scared, I felt like he just needed to be protected. - You are AMAZING, I promise you that you'll do great. Please trust me. - We got closer and gave him a hug. He hugged me back and whispered a soft "thank you" into my chest. This felt so nice, he's so tiny and holdable, I felt like I could stay like this forever. Not even five seconds had gone by when we heard everyone coming close and we realized that it was probably time to leave already. It seemed like the universe really didn't want me to fall for him, every time we hugged something happened... - Are you better now?

- Yeah, I'm fine. Or at least I'm gonna be. You should probably go out now. You go first and I'll follow you in a minute. They can't know that we were here together.

- Okay, you're right... Well, I'm guessing that you'll need time to rehearse and get your stuff together for tomorrow so I won't bother you in your room later. See you in the morning okay?

- Thanks again, for everything. See you tomorrow. - He said with a soft smile and a warm energy exuding from his aura.

- No problem. And Cracker? I believe in you, you should too.  - I said and left without waiting for an answer.

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Im posting again soon!! I have a shit ton of homework but Im procrastinating to write this bc I LOVE THIS STORY, she's like my baby and i just wanna finish it bc i feel like im reading it myself and it annoys the shit out of me that i don't have time to keep writing. Anyway, stay tuned. Love yall🥰
-paz